In an industry like Hollywood and being a 24/7 media whore, one’s looks for the camera boy are invaluable. That said, pundits have been wondering again about one particular lass’ exterior glow, or rather the lack of it. Yes, Lilo, cause that’s the shit that makes us get up in the morning and rejoice with the knowledge that our designated telegenic spiritual advisor is there to cajole us through another day.
Appearing at a recent event, the trophy media whore was looking noticeably worse for wear and the camera boy couldn’t help but notice that the national treasure chest otherwise known as Lilo was looking rather unsightly…
From the grilled sausages that passed as our highness’ lips (yes this is why I went to drama school, so I could spend my mornings pontificating on useless twats like Lilo….blah), the greasy pancake job that is supposed to be our heroine’s make up and from the sweaty forehead that is cracking from the stench of girlhood freckles and let’s not forget those flaring nostrils that have been in constant overdrive ever since she discovered where Coco Columbia was on the map. And pleaaaze don’t get me started on that pouch under Lilo’s chin, that shit just ain’t ever going away- it’s like built in water tank hibernating for mankind.
Of course there was also the wobbly knees and those bludgeoned hands (kids factory workers have better manicured hands) but worse of all was the fake tan that seeped from her hair (yes even that shit is fake or so now I have been told it’s back to it’s natural color, nauseating tomato red) and onto her high heels. After all if you’re going to make yourself look like a prized hawt bixch one should never abstain from a complete spray tan over one’s body.
Never mind when Lilo finally makes it back on the big screen she’ll once again show us mere mortals why she is the enigma that she is.
Don’t you wish you were a hawt bixch making the daily camera boy rounds too…unless of course you already are.