Home Pop Culture Adam Lanza’s father Peter Lanza still can’t understand why his son snapped.

Adam Lanza’s father Peter Lanza still can’t understand why his son snapped.

Peter Lanza and Shelley Cudiner
Peter Lanza and new wife Shelley Cudiner.


Peter Lanza and Shelley Cudiner
Peter Lanza and new wife Shelley Cudiner.

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In the latest developments of the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre shooter, it is now being revealed that Adam Lanza and his father Peter hadn’t spoken to each other in over 2 years. Even more perplexing is the notion that Peter Lanza still has not been able to figure out why his son snapped.

wsj: In the summer of 2010, Mr. Lanza cut off contact with his father, Peter Lanza, a General Electric executive whose marriage with his mother ended a year before, said a person with knowledge of family matters. It is unclear why Mr. Lanza refused to speak with his father, who made repeated attempts to contact him, this person said, but the breakdown in their relationship came as Peter Lanza started to get serious with his girlfriend, whom he married last year.

By now it’s been heavily reported that the young man had become to feel increasingly alienated as his family underwent a splintering, quite possibly feeling a sense of betrayal that his father was now leaving the family and his affections.

Yet it seems not only had Adam Lanza stopped having relations with his father he had also a few short months later by Christmas of 2010 stopped having relations with his brother Ryan who by now had left to pursue a career in finance in NYC.

But it appears Adam Lanza’s propensity for exclusion and alienation came at a much younger age after his family moved from their New Hampshire residence to that of Newtown, Conn. It was then at the age of 6, Adam Lanza began to become increasingly withdrawn and struggle to make lasting connections and friendships with other children. By 2001 that situation was exacerbated after Adam Lanza’s parents,Peter and Nancy separated, finally divorcing in 2009.

Nevertheless the wsj goes on to note that Peter Lanza had continued even after amicably divorcing from Nancy in 2009 to pay weekly weekend visits to his son Adam until he then refused to acknowledge his father and negotiate him in the summer of 2010. The same time Peter Lanza had by now begun living with new girlfriend Shelley Cudiner.

Says the wsj: When Peter Lanza spoke of his son, “there was no inkling of any violence” involving Adam Lanza, said John Phillips, a friend of Peter’s. He said the accused shooter’s father is mystified about what could have motivated his son. “[Peter] is as clueless as everybody.”

Clueless perhaps because by now he had ceased to continue investing in his son’s personal development and had just accepted his situation without fully delving into the nature of his exclusion? In the end the tragedy speaks volumes about the capitulation of family dynamics and how sometimes unwittingly a festering of resentment and hostility can manifest itself in the most violent form when much needed redress fails to manifest itself. One does wonder how differently things may have turned out if Peter Lanza despite his son’s reluctance to engage him continued to reach out and attempt to reconcile with his disillusioned son. Then again perhaps to be fair to Peter Lanza there may have been only so much he felt capable of doing and in the end perhaps Adam Lanza needed real psychological attention to which sadly it seems he never received.

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  1. You have some serious dislike for people who have physical and mental disabilities. I on the other hand have an even bigger dislike for people who are all there neglecting and endangering the lives of someone who has multiple disabilities. Say for example unlocked guns, the fact that he was showing signs of delusions 1 month earlier when she told her friend she was losing him she could not reach him. Oh and he started burning himself. She had full control over his medical care and should have had his medications checked and safety proofed her home until he was back on track. We know she did not do that because instead she left him home alone so she could go spend 3 days drinking out of town.

  2. This article is great and makes some amazing points. I have also speculated that the departure of his brother and father may have started the downward spiral. I just wish this article would have addressed some of the issues about Aspergers. According to what I read Someone with aspergers will have a difficult time when there are changes made to routine, environment, and people. Someone they love leaving could be hard and the entrance of a new family member. Someone with Aspergers may have a more difficult time these kind of changes. So preparation if possible would be important. Adam reacted to the new step mom poorly cutting off from Ryan Peter and Step mom.

  3. Adam Lanza was not a psychopath. There is no such thing as a shy and awkward psychopath. A psychopath does not care what you think and feel. They have a history from childhood of being manipulative and abusive in some way to people and or animals. Adam has NEVER been violent and incredibly shy which means he cares what people thought of him. So I respectfully disagree with your theory.

  4. Adam Lanza seems a highly unlikely suspect. He may have been taken to the school with the real shooters but he no more did this on his own than you or I. The police caught the real shooters, then let them go. The guy who ran from police in the woods was first said to be a father of one of the students and is now supposedly a swat member from another Connecticut town. Come on! He was one of two or three shooters. If he was a cop why would he have run? Newtown cops need to stand up to the feds and demand that they be involved in the investigation. Is Adam’s blood at his mother’s house? How many times was he shot in the head? What kind of bullets? Why haven’t we heard from the surviving victim/witnesses? Who was the guy proned out on the ground in handcuffs? The whole thing makes me sick. The victims and their parents deserve a real investigation.

  5. Lanza’s dad helps GE dodge taxes. That mighty corporation that uses all the benefits of being in America, but unlike you and me and despite being one of the richest corporations in America, pays Zero taxes. Of course, we as taxpayers must pay taxes for the roads that go to GE factories, the school system that trains their employees, the police that protect their land, the army that protects their nation, and even for the legal system that lets them pay no taxes.

    By the way, if the IRS ever audits you, ask them why you have to pay taxes but GE doesn’t. They’ll laugh at you right before they put you in jail.

  6. Oh please. I just hate that kind of hypocritical thinking. Why is it when children are successful it’s all about the parents taking credit but when there’s failure all of a sudden it’s a chorus of “not our fault”. Give me a break. This selfish coward contributed to his monster son’s actions. To say otherwise indicates you’re a moron.

  7. To even remotely blame any of Adam Lanza’s actions on the dad is shameful. There are plenty of estranged fathers and sons and the world, and those sons don’t go on to murder 20 children. Adam Lanza was a psychopath, and the real tragedy here is his parents tried to provide a normal life for him, despite knowing how different he was, when in reality he should have been locked up in a mental institution.

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