Home Scandal and Gossip Adam Lanza was getting worse. Burning himself with lighter. Nancy Lanza feared...

Adam Lanza was getting worse. Burning himself with lighter. Nancy Lanza feared losing him.

Adam Lanza
Adam Lanza


Adam Lanza
Adam Lanza

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Adam Lanza. What set the Sandy Hook Elementary School gunman off?

As details begin to emerge as to the possible motive and kind of life that the Sandy Hook Elementary school massacre shooter, Adam Lanza had, a new disparaging report paints a grim picture of a young man who was clearly beginning to show signs of self capitulation.

Said a drinking buddy of Nancy Lannza to the nydailynews:

“She just looked down at the glass and said, ‘I don’t know. I’m worried I’m losing him,’” said the bar pal, who did not wish to be named, of the ominous conversation at the watering hole My Place in Newtown, Conn.

“She said it was getting worse. She was having trouble reaching him.”

“Nancy told me he was burning himself with a lighter. In the ankles or arms or something,” he recalled of a conversation they had about a year ago. “It was like he was trying to feel something.”

Perhaps what’s most alarming about the above exchange of words is why Adam Lanza’s mother, Nancy hadn’t attempted to find some professional relief for her son? Which is not to say if she actually did or not, as time will reveal that too, but perhaps time spend at a councilor, therapy, hospital, an outreach program or just reintegrating the boy back to the community as opposed to continuing to segregate him in a gilded existence may have allowed the boy to see that other ways of being existed.

“It was weird. She never really talked about (Adam),” he said. “She mainly talked about her oldest kid (Ryan). I knew about the other one, but she never spoke much about him.

“She looked disturbed. She was looking down at her glass and kind of talking slowly,” he added.

One wonders if on some level if Adam Lanza was perceived as the three headed ogre (metaphorically speaking) that Nancy Lanza felt compelled to keep sequestrated from others. Perhaps, despite her love and desire to protect her son she did him a disservice by keeping him at bay, never fully allowing him to mingle and mix with others even if signs existed that the boy had a preternatural tendency to withdraw.

Alternatively one wonders if 24 year old Ryan Lanza, Nancy Lanza’s eldest son was the real joy of the family, who had gone out and done the ‘right’ thing, placed in university and was by now living out of home, pursuing a career in finance where as Nancy Lanza’s youngest son, 20 year old Adam needed her full time care and attention, something that may or may not have led her to resent her son, alienate herself from him and increasingly not be able to deal with the young man who by now needed the attention of professional help. Which may  be a very legitimate reason why Adam Lanza fatally shot her in the face as he proceeded to then drive off to the school Friday morning to sow his retribution at a world that had in his mind dared cause him so much pain.

Yet what is becoming increasingly apparent is despite Nancy Lanza’s best intentions (unless evidence of active abuse is revealed) for her son she had nevertheless alienated the young man or at the very least unwittingly increased his sense of dislocation and the notion that for her he represented a kind of  ‘pariah’ status.

Rightly or wrongly it seemed Adam Lanza in recent months sensed a kind of hopeless detachment, apathy, denial coming from his own mother as he continued his dangerous game of burning himself which in time would grow to become a desire to try more dangerous adventures in the days ahead…

above picture via examiner 


  1. This reminds me of James Holmes. So talented in their niche and yet failing.
    Whilst one might criticize nancy for having guns. I think her mistake was home schooling. He didn’t have social skills and was doing ok in his academic studies. He needed extra. Help in learning how to interact with others. No matter how good an IT professional he may have been. In order to sell those skills you still need to sell yourself. Sometimes the IT programmer with lesser skills gets the job because he knows how to ingratiate himself ith the client.

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  3. It wasn’t child support. It was alimony, which is money she would have received whether or not her son lived with her. She was to receive alimony until 2023 and had nothing to do with Adam living with her. So, your assumption is incorrect.

  4. Are you kidding me with this? I hope no one takes the articles on this site seriously. I know I will never visit again. You quoted all the negative things that “drinking buddy” (real reliable source there, by the way) said and then followed it with, “Perhaps what’s most alarming about the above exchange of words is why Adam Lanza’s mother, Nancyhadn’t attempted to find some professional relief for her son?” Are you serious?? Obviously you read the article if you’re snagging quotes from it. So why didn’t you include from that SAME article you quoted and from the SAME drinking buddy this: “I asked her if she was getting him help, and she said she was,” the friend recalled.

    Please, find a conscience and stop trying to profit from others’ tragedy by writing nothing but sensationalist garbage.

  5. Rosie, I thought it was $325 000 a year. Both princely sums either way. That said you do raise a valid point, but what is left unsaid is why didn’t the mother seek mental redress for her son? Surely she had the best intentions for him? Or was she so deep in her own funk of denial, despair (and preparing for some doomsday with the stockpiling of ammunitions which in the end ironically came true ….) that she just missed the clues? Or maybe she didn’t want too…?

  6. Do you suppose the reason Ms. Lanza did not seek out professional help for Adam had anything to do with the $240,000/year support she was receiving from her ex-husband? I wonder how much she stood to lose if he became well enough to leave the nest?

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