Home Scandal and Gossip Being a white male hipster from Williamsburg has now become a miserable...

Being a white male hipster from Williamsburg has now become a miserable occupation.

Hipster attire.
Hipster attire.

Kids there was a time that the a run of the mill hipster could park his ironic ass on a stoop somewhere on Berry or Bedford and ironically scoff at those around him as they rushed to work, attended to menial things they would never dare attempt or at the very least nuzzle to the knowledge the land of Bedford avenue and its criss crossing $4 caffe latte streets were his for the taking.

But that alas has changed with what these self entitled poseurs (sorry us real Williamsburg types moved out sometime in 2004 the minute we noticed your ironic trucker hat and dopey eyed expression hobnobbing along with a crushed Pabst beer can) insist is the harsh result of local cops hazing these unfortunate souls and making them consistent targets of sudden frisks and mean tactics.

Reports the nydailynews: The latest U.S. Census figures showed that whites make up about 59% of the 90th Precinct, stretching from the yuppie condos lining the East River waterfront to the hipster-and-Latino-heavy Bushwick border.

White guys in Williamsburg said that poor artists and aggressive bike messengers will easily catch an officer’s eye.

“It’s not about race. It’s about class,” said goth guitarist Nate Morgan, 20, detailing several recent encounters with cops in East Williamsburg. “I have a mohawk. They stereotype me.”

Nate let me clear you bixch. I also have a mohawk, except you can’t see it. Which is to say in my dusty and torn Saville Row suit I am more punk rock than your sorry ass has ever known the time of day. Really Nate, must an old timer who has had guns pointed at his head before you took your thumb out of your thumb explain to you the essence of hipsterdom?

Must I tell you and your drunken elk that proclaiming to be individualist but dressing exactly alike your Midwest brethren is what makes you all sheep and the easy target of coppers who can walk blind into any puddle and catch half a dozen of you putrified in your piss, stoned out of your mind and scoffing some trust funder bullshit that doesn’t impress anyone except yourselves? Really Nate hasn’t it occured that them coppers are only doing a public service by keeping an eye on you lot who refuse to ride bicycles with brakes on them?

Let me be correct you Nate, it ain’t about class, it’s about manners, poise, grace and consideration that you or your brethren fail to have acquired. As for my niggas who used to get arrested before you arrived, they’re now smiling sitting on that stoop and mouthing ‘that white honkey ain’t know shit.’ And you know what Nate- they’re right….

hipsters on the verge of irony

It’s time to meet the latest fad of Williamsburg, Brooklyn: Neo Nazis.

Beware hipsters. There’s a man trap waiting for you…

The scientific reason revealed of why you’re a hipster.

The definition of hipster suddenly became apparent…

Failed musician/hipster explains why selling Christmas trees is still an ironical existence

Cybe®Punks ’2013: Just another hot bitch party full of Hipsters.

Can it actually be true? Hipsters are now attending church in South Williamsburg.

Fashion forward or fashion faux pas on the streets of hipper than thou Williamsburg, Brooklyn?

The reinvigoration of the Bushwick Hipster.

Trying to make it as a hipster on the Gowanus canal.

How the Ipad killed the hipster.

What your hipster sunglasses say about you?

Observations on the L train. NYC.

The arrival of the Bushwick hipster.

Learning to love the ‘hipster.’

What do hipsters like to do in their spare time?

Observations on the G train.

Jews vs Hipsters.

The etiquette of Smoking crack. The last crack hipster.

Rumor mill; Hipsters planning on getting real jobs sometime in the next century.

Hipster paradise goes bust- let’s go back to being working class!

Can a hipster still be a hipster if he takes him or herself seriously?

Ritual Slaughter: How Matt Timms has Bobby Flay’d the Hipster Movement.

Hanging out with Hipsters. What they do, Where they hang out and Why being one isn’t always Ironic.

Slaughter in Williamsburg



  1. Maybe you should just go back to school and learn how to write. Oh I know! Maybe you could just hire one of these nice hipster kids to teach you basic english.

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