Number 4- Derek Warburton.
Kids, this bitch lives for step and repeat. In fact he’s taken to running 17 miles in his living room just to make sure his cheekbones stay sharp and crisp for when the cameraman singles him out. Really, the camera and Derek were made for each other, the same way crack and a crackhead were made for each other.
A permanent fixture in all that is shiny and sweet, this hawt bitch has a rolodex planner that he keeps on top of his toilet bowl scanning parties to get himself invited to. But then after all when you are a media whore on the go- what are else are you to do- survival knows no bounds or restraint.
Which is to say, if Derek eventually becomes the king of shiny objects and pristine fashion shoots (yes his business card says stylist as opposed to omnipresent bitch and trigger happy media whore) the world will be a better place.
Derek, we’re betting one day, the state of Namibia or better still New Zealand where Derek was famous for 17 minutes last fall ( trust me those Kiwi’s were blown away by this hawt bitch, what with all the sheep they normally have to deal with) will announce a national holiday in your name.
Derek, work girl, work that pose- cause humanity and your chances of ever being taken seriously rely on it.
Hmm- do you think Derek will still invite me to his greet and bitch cupcake session tomorrow night? Let’s hope so- being deprived of seeing Derek stretch those cheekbones in front of some cardboard logo board would be withdrawal fatigue of the highest regard.