Home Pop Culture The Top Ten “Step and Repeat” Offenders of NYC.

The Top Ten “Step and Repeat” Offenders of NYC.


Bitches- we'll always be more famous than you...

Step and repeat offender 3- Alex McCord and Simon Van Kempen.- ‘Do you still believe in lullabies…?

Geesh- what is it with these two? Everywhere I go I have to come across the veneer of these two mercilessly crooning their jowls for the camera boy. A staple of Real Pathetic People Housewives of NY, Alex and Simon have made being poster people a lucrative side business. All that’s missing is paper towels with their images embossed on them, or better still toilet paper. Kids, do you get the feeling, Alex and Simon wont be shaking my glum hand in the future- oh well- I’m just the little people, pointing out the injustices of this big mean world.

Personally I’m wondering when Andy Cohen of Bravo will eventually give them their own reality show- “Step and Repeat and Offend with Alex and Simon.” That shit would make Bravo a lot of money and probably a letter from the US Post office seeking to make a commemorative $50 postage stamp- that way, the whole world at any moment can appreciate how valuable these two are.

Oh well, one day, deep in the future, when Alex and Simon are counting all the money and the PMC photo ops they will leap into the air and cry- “And to think I thought I would amount to nothing.”


PMC count- Alex McCord – an impressive 516. Simon Van Kempen, a dismal- 225.

Kids- do you notice the recurring pattern? Simon, Derek, Alex.


Comments are closed.