Paris Hilton just wants to be left alone except when she needs you to take a picture of her.
Kids it’s time to roll up that $20 bill, reach for a bottle of the good shit and cuddle up with Parasite Hilton as she shows you what happened to her last night.
For what it’s worth, Parasite only wanted to have a quiet night out, so when she set out with 45 body guards to buy a popsicle down the street some mean fat paparazzo came out of no where and tried to take naughty pictures of her in her hot sticky wet clinging slut dress. There to intercede and ensure Parasite’s privacy (cause you know how much that stuff means to her) were the goons Parasite has on her payola, and that’s when things got icky and a bit too inconvenient and of course brutal.
At least to her credit if Kim Kardashian were in Parasite’s place, that bixch would never have gotten caught without her mascara kit on and she would sure as hell at least be wearing clean underwear when that unflattering g string shot finally made its way into cyberspace.
Paris Hilton, the media whore that you all thought had died a peaceful death has now officially returned.