“Guilty for what? That some guy blows his brain out, spends all his money, ends up on the street? Look pappy, do you think my customers are going to come and visit me if I end up in jail? Everyone’s an adult here. I’m not here to be your spiritual advisor. You think those pharmaceutical companies come out to visit you when you become addicted to their stuff? No- they’ll go out and invent something new for you to get hooked on. What do you think this? That’s shit for the birds.”
“So none of your customers are homeless or selling themselves for your product?”
“That’s none of my business. You think this stuff makes them homeless? It’s the stuff that goes on in their head that makes them fuck up. I’m not here to change these people, I’m just here to provide a service. No drama.”
“So not even a sliver of guilt?”
“Please pappy. What am I going to say to some girl. Stop whoring yourself out for this shit? She’ll be out by the weekend doing it all over again. And if not her, someone else. And if it’s not me selling it, it’ll be someone else. I just want what’s mine. This isn’t some forest that I’m cutting trees out of. This is the jungle”.”
By this stage we’re not even half way finished eating when Carlos finally gets up and announces it’s time for us to go.
“You coming for the ride pappy? Or does this shit scare you? It’s okay if you don’t want to come.”
Part of me just wants to run home, but the other part of me is too damn curious to see how this all works.
“We’re not going to get busted are we?”
“Pappy, you playing me?”
“I guess. I guess I should meet the customers.”
What’s there to lose? – I think to myself. But as the evening will proceed, I find out that there’s a lot to lose…
We then turn to walk out, the good shit wrapped in various bundles that he will drop at different destinations that we will go back and forth to at various points in the evening as supplies dwindle and the phone calls keep coming.
As I sit there waiting for Carlos to start the car I wonder beyond the money what feeds him to go through all the risk night after night. In some way I reason he’s just as addicted to the stuff too, in his own symbiotic way, but as the car begins to pull out I will soon find out the degree of his addiction.
To be continued in part 2.