When the pharmaceutical industry is more addictive than crack, Jack.
We’ve been watching the disintegration of America lately and of course this has led to a lot of tears and hand wringing. Don’t people know being a junkie is bad for you? Oh well. Rather than fighting it, we thought we would assemble a list of some of the finer traits of the best crack dealer in town.
Dr. Blow me Away wants you to love him forever…
Some exemplary traits-
1. Dr. Blow me Away is now available at your local pharmaceutical. For a small fee, handshake and wink he will get you hooked on your preferred drug and help you sign your life away.
2. Dr. Blow will show you comparative studies on why you need to quickly get on his booze truck. Simplicity and quality are always a necessity.
3. Dr. Blow never hustles you openly. He waits for the day your life is falling apart before peddling you the magic pill.
4. Dr. Blow is always cruising the hood and (luckily for you) is FDA sanctioned. That way you can always ask for more without feeling guilty (or like you’re a junkie which you certainly are not.)
5. Dr. Blow me Away has some catch phrases that should get you emotionally charged- natural, organic, happy, 100% effective, and FDA approved.
6. Dr. Blow is always willing to find you and make those late night visits.
7. Dr. Blow has always got something new for you to try. It is always just an appointment away, so why wait? People with slight confusion problems may need to see their general doctor before they sign their life away.
8. Dr. Blow is always willing to sit you down and try to figure out what he can give you to make the pain go away.
9. Dr. Blow comes in many forms and varieties and for a small fee can help you identify which dosages should work for you.
10. Dr. Blow is slowly getting rich and waiting to invent a new addiction that you can try while it’s on special.