It’s official, Michael Aho and his gruesome cohort have decided to continue offending our collective sensibilities by offering us a second season of the hideousness that has preceded until now. With Devorah Rose reportedly not sure she will sign on for season 2 (apparently the acrimony has spilt off stage kids…) producers are now considering other souls to bring harmony to the happy crew called ‘Society Misfits.’ That said we’ve decided to figure out our own top ten list for possible new social vermin (we mean talent) to flood the show. Filming will of course take place in the Hamptons.
10/ High on our list of possible photogenic and combative social misdemeanors is Kristian Laliberte. A wonderful prodigy of the wunderset and rumor has it actually coming from a family that has made its own money (never mind K) K could be a wonderful addition to the crew. Sure to get into hot cat fights with Paul and Malik this season could see the boys duking, slapping it out.
9/ Number 9 on the list is Sally Shan. Much reviled and hated up and down the Eastern Shore boars this sassy girl who automatically comes with three quarters of New Jersey would would be an easy shoo in for Tinsley to hate and for Jules Kirby to throw anti Chinese slogans at. An obvious choice indeed.
8/ Number 8 would have to be Justin Ross Lee because the world could always use another self nominated Jew explaining how paradise and picking up underage girls works. We can only imagine the hand holding between Jules and Justin as they start throwing drinks at each other and Dale Mercer hustling to hitch Tinsley to this billionaire icon.
7/ Kayvon Zand. Because nothing catches the joy in telivision viewers hearts than a 7 foot tall skinny Goth boy casually strolling the East Hamptons promenade whilst the police is immediately dispatched in fear of a terrorist attack.
6/Michael Lohan .Because nothing sells better than terror and we can only imagine the long bonding sessions between Michael and Tinsley as they head over to Sunday morning church.
5/ Amanda Lepore. Because someone has to show Tinsley what class really means and nothing confuses people more in the Hamptons than that of an outlandish diva who marches to her own beat. It’s safe to say there will be fistfights between Tinsley, Amanda and Jules on a regualr basis, but at least Malik will be there to calm the girls down.
4/ Jon Gosselin. Because the world can only keep getting wacky and frankly Jon needs the money.
3/ Olivia Palermo– Because bitch fights haven’t been invented yet until these two are kept on stage for a more than 5 minutes. If you thought Dale was bad in season 1, watch as she reacts with a bee bee gun aimed at Olivia’s head.
2/ Patrick McMullan; Because celebrity and society can finally invert on itself and the world can sigh in relief as Tinsley is tucked in bed by Patrick while the others members watch in bitter jealosy wondering why patrick refuses to ever take pictures of them.
1/ Lindsay Lohan. If we’re going to sink the ship we might as well sink it properly and carefully and nothing could be more caustic than watching Lilo throw up all over Tinsley while Devorah walks around in her bikini.