Keeping up with nausea.
Just like you, we’ve been wondering what our favorite (two favorite if you must know) celebs are doing this Thanksgiving day. Shall we examine the hours together?
2pm When Lindsay Lohan wakes up from another night of blow we suspect she will hightail it to a champagne party in the afternoon with a half baked turkey (oh well) under her arm. Will she be coming to your party, too?
3pm. We suspect Tom Cruise will be just about wrapping up shooting horrible villains and thinking about how much money you have helped him make this year.
4pm. Jon Gosselin will be getting ready to go to a titty bar just after he can get off the phone with all those kids of his.
5pm. Taylor Lautner will be breaking the hearts of 16 year old girls and 40 year old men worldwide when you take one more wistful look at him on the way to the john.
6p.m- Nicole Richie will be getting ready to throw up her big Thanksgiving lunch of a half eaten turkey sandwich with a side lick of fat free chocolate mousse. Duck kids!
7pm. Simon Cowell will stand in the mirror and swear at it with brooding candor.
8pm- Lilo will be making her first call of the day to her blow dealer. Unclog those noses kids!
9pm – Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp will start making out in the imagination of OK magazine editors at large.
10pm. Courtney Love will make her first run to the local crack house, she will see if the dealer will take turkey wings in exchange for product.
11pm.Tom Cruise will wake up in a cold sweat and realize that he is, after a heavy day, still the undisputed champion of celebrities and money bags. Sleep tight Tom.