From Gawker comes the sordid tale of who paid for Carrie Prejean’s boobs– a question every living man and child in America is mulling, deep in their sleep. A question that of curse, needs to be settled in court because no one can decide who actually footed the bill and why Prejean didn’t win after her boobs were realigned to meet Beauty pageant specifications.
We know things are odd in America but the boob question is one hell of a dilemma that needs to be resolved. So let us try.
In the end, our girl lost the pageant (collective awww). It wasn’t because her boobs weren’t good enough but apparently she offended certain sensibilities (Prejean apparently isn’t into same sex marriage). Of course her rigorous adherence to the bible hasn’t stopped our girl from exposing those new boobs in the flesh and getting paid well for it (we call it stacking the returns…). Apparently, (shockingly,) these are all violations of the pageant.
Apart from confusing most Americans, Prejean is in the middle of a new book deal (see girls? Boob jobs go a long way) and is looking to become a permanent fixture in the Loony Tunes department that specializes in fake boobs, shiny hair, big smiles and TV deals.
The moral of the story? Life can suddenly change when you get a boob job, whether or not you had to pay for it.
It appears boobs and religion go hand in hand.
Ex-Beauty Queen’s Breast Implants Lead to Lawsuit