Khloe Kardashian is now an inspiration to every aspiring over weight media whore in America.
Kids, it’s time to take an excursion in the annals- of this is me then and this is the new and improved me now. Presto! All that is required is a 3 year $40 million contract and even you can get yourself to put away those midnight flan caramels you like to gorge on…
hollywoodlife: “My husband is working out four to six hours a day right now, so I work out with him,” Khloe tells Life & Style. “We’ll do outside workouts and inside workouts. We’re always switching it up, so it’s fun.”
Khloe may have started exercising to support her husband’s career, but the brunette beauty has also been reaping the benefits. Nutritional expert Elena Michaels estimates Khloe has already lost 20 lbs. in 20 days!
“She looks like she’s now 155 pounds,” Elana says. “You can see it in her cheekbones and jawline, and her legs are much slimmer.”
Hmm kids. Cheekbones and jawlines if you must know are a must have if you intend to be a 24/7 media whore. Nothing says more than svelte and loved than having killer cheekbones that burn holes in the pupils of happily snapping camera boys.
After all, if Perez the bixch can do it– why not Khloe? Being deliciously thin and photogenic modello type can only boost the public’s dizzy love affair with you.
As we reported earlier, Khloe has openly struggled with her weight and body image for years, and mom Kris Jenner has only made her feel more insecure.
“She’ll say, ‘Oh, you’re a little too fat right now,’” Khloe revealed.
Oh Kris. Why are you so mean to our Khloe? Surely you understand that the rigors of being a reality nonsense star is a demanding one? Who knows perhaps Kris taped a mouthpiece over her mouth too in a show of mutual love to get Khloe to back off all those delicious Big Macs knick knacks that are forever yummy. But then you know the saying: ‘whatever doesn’t kill you, only makes you more disillusioned stronger.’
While Khloe may not agree with her mom’s tough-love approach, she admits she has an unhealthy relationship with food.
“I’m just an emotional eater,” she confessed. “Whenever I go through something, I gain weight.”
Oh no Khloe. I have to be honest I have the same problem. Whenever I go through my usual roller coaster of self loathing and self indulging episodes (I like to gorge on Fritto lay chips with double dipped mayonnaise that way I can really feel the gluttony of self hate….blah) I pine for the comfort that junk food can bring to my weary soul.
Emotional hysteria and beat down sessions from mother dearest aside, how did our Khloe manage to lose so much weight in just a few short days?
“She eats mostly fresh fruits and vegetables, with small amounts of lean proteins like fish and chicken,” says Robbie Davis, who’s been training both Khloe and Lamar. ”She trains like an athlete when she’s with us, even doing weight training. We also run the canyons surrounding their house. Plus she does pilates and stair-running on her own.”
Fresh fruits, vegetables and 17 hour back to back sessions of pilates whilst running in abandoned canyons. Hmm- now that’s a recipe I could see myself taking on next time the hint of existential woe haunts me.
Of course one can only wonder if Khloe will end up keeping the weight off, cause if you can put it off in record time you can rest assured you can put it all back and then some in record time too.
Don’t you wish you were a desperate media whore in search of an image that you could finally be at peace with? I know I do…
Khloe Kardashian will make all you jealous bixches shut your mouths or else.
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