And this is what Lindsay Lohan’s mum, Dina Lohan said after she was arrested…

 

And this is what Lindsay Lohans mum, Dina Lohan said after she was arrested...

Dina Lohan is also a preferred hawt bixch....

Lindsay Lohan has been drinking 2 litters of vodka a day and sniffing coke for months.

Lindsay Lohan said to have been drinking and binging for days after TV bomb.

Oh really! Lindsay Lohan’s victim, Tiffany Eve Mitchell just wanted to give her a free psychic reading.

Oh really! Lindsay Lohan kicks out her assistant Gavin Doyle from car after he collects her from jail.

Lindsay Lohan was doing mounds of cocaine before she punched and spat on Tiffany Eve Mitchell.

Lindsay Lohan arrested for punching blonde psychic at NYC nightclub. Jail?

Personally if it was my scrawny ass getting arrested over and over my mom would’ve deported me to some barren Soviet Russian outpost, which is exactly what she promised to do every time she caught me trying to light the family dog on fire (I grew up believing that Horatio was immortal and just wanted to see how immortal his fuzzy self really was).

But then again I’m not as fortunate as our collective hero, Lindsay Lohan, who happens to have a mommy who is forever apologizing for her daughter’s misdeeds. Then again my mother was never in the business of ceaselessly pumping my social cache for a fistful of bucks either….

Said Doyen Momma Lohan after her fuzzy animal got arrested again (I know she had a speech writer perfect the perfect apology when the first arrest came years ago):

“At this time I kindly ask that you extend to my family the time we need to address my daughter’s circumstances with the appropriate parties. As a mother you always love and pray for the best with all your children. Our family’s bond grows deeper and stronger during the tough times and I am beyond proud of all of my children for the love and devotion they provide for each other. We are there for and stand by one another unconditionally. Many thanks to all that have expressed concern for my daughter. Your compassionate thoughts and prayers are received with my deepest gratitude.”

Which is Doyen Momma Lohan’s code language for ‘I’m just as broken hearted as all of you, but the hawt mess is mine and at the end of the day I’ll alway love her, even if she should happen to set me or the family dog on fire one day….’

above image found here

 

UPDATE: Doyen Momma Lohan has now issued a statement responding to Michael ‘I will always sell my baby for another quick dollar ‘Lohan, telling ETonline: “Instead of rushing to a camera or a microphone, wouldn’t my ex’s alleged parental concerns to protect our daughter be better served by handling her challenges privately.

“Why would Lindsay trust a parent who tapes and sells her private recordings, a father who shows up by himself with a television crew to force his entry into her home for an ‘intervention’, an ‘intervention’ I KNEW NOTHING ABOUT.

“Before you go to the press a minute after our daughter’s headlines hits the airwaves, take a pause Michael, stop injecting yourself into every story, as this once again proves to your daughter, your sole desperate agenda is in keeping yourself relevant.”

Hmm, maybe Lilo just ought to set fire to Milo?