Safe ways for singles to find hookups online: Using the right dating apps, what to keep in mind when meeting for the first time & red flags to watch out for.
It can be a scary concept putting yourself out into the world in order to find hookups that you want. But it can be even scarier when you are worried about the dangers of the internet and what you could get yourself into if you aren’t careful when you are planning these sorts of things.
Luckily for you, there are plenty of ways to make sure that you are safe when you are finding someone that you’re planning to hookup with. From location spots, to red flags you need to be on the lookout for, I am here with a quick guide to help you through finding a partner safely.
Finding the best site or app
Going for a paid option is always the best approach when you want to make sure that the person you are talking to on the other end of the phone or computer is actually who they claim to be. However, not everyone on a paid site or app is willing to do a single hookup and be on their way, so this option can be a bit frustrating at times.
There are other options to choose from, even if they are free to use. Apps like Tinder are very highly rated because while it is something that is free, it is also something that requires you to identify yourself, and pay for extra swipes if you are spamming too much in a short amount of time.
If Tinder isn’t really your style, there are dating sites that are put together to specifically help you find someone to hook up with, but those can be tricky to find. I would suggest asking around on dating forums for those site details.
Finding the right matches
While almost anyone would be willing to hookup on hookup sites like tinder, you can’t just go along with the first person that you see. You first have to make sure that this is the right person for you at this moment.
You aren’t looking for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still have pretty high standards. Don’t be afraid to ask them about their line of work, their intimate relationship history, and if they have health issues that you should know about beforehand.
When planning a hookup, you can avoid talking about personal things like their line of work, or what they love to do on the weekends, but you should still get to know them at their base before dedicating yourself to a hookup. Here are a few red flags that you should be looking for.
- They keep insulting your wants and desires
- Strange comments about how you look
- They don’t take your needs into consideration
- You don’t get turned on
- You feel like they aren’t giving it their all
There are tons of red flags that you need to look out for when you are going to meet someone from a dating app, but these are the top intimate red flags you need to look for. The rest are more focused around dating or getting to know the other person on a deeper level, so we can save that for another day.
What should you tell them about yourself?
Like I mentioned earlier, you can avoid a lot of personal conversation when you are planning a hookup because this isn’t what people are interested in. But, you should still spark up a conversation just to make sure that you and this other person are compatible before going through with meeting them in person.
Tell them about the location you live in, but don’t tell them your actual address. Make sure that they know how many previous partners you have had, and tell them if there are any sexually transmitted diseases you have that they should be aware of.
How to find a good meetup spot
You should always go to a mutual location. Never bring them to your house on the first meet, and never go to their house on the first meet. Find a coffee shop or another local location in your area to meet up at so you can get to know this person by body language before bringing them back to learn about their body.
If this person isn’t okay with meeting somewhere in public first, you should find someone else to match with as this is a severe red flag. It might not mean that they want to cause you any harm, but they might have a spouse of family at home that they don’t want to know about this hookup. It’s easier for you to just leave the situation before something can happen.
How to ensure you are completely safe
Naturally, you want to be as safe as possible when meeting a stranger on the internet. Here are a few things that you can do beyond meeting this person at a public place:
- Have a phone conversation before meeting in person
- Tell a friend you are meeting someone new so if they don’t hear from you in a certain amount of time, call someone for help
- If you don’t have a friend you can tell about this, make a social media status that is vague and not revealing to your personal life, but have it include a second part that is added later. If you never come back online, people will know something is up.
While these are mostly just extreme cases and meeting someone online is never as dangerous as people make it out to seem on movies and TV shows, it is never harmful to be prepared for the worst case scenario, especially if this is your first time.
Finally, you don’t want to be afraid to set up some boundaries. You want to be sure that your needs are being taken care of when you are hooking up with someone new. If this person is into something that you aren’t into, let them know it makes you uncomfortable. You shouldn’t feel bad about having boundaries.
If this other person does not respect your boundaries, tell them goodbye because you can easily find someone else who will treat you better. Even if this is just a one-night hookup, you deserve to feel good about the situation and being uncomfortable is the exact opposite.