Home Pop Culture So what’s Fred Humphries the shirtless FBI agent really hiding?

So what’s Fred Humphries the shirtless FBI agent really hiding?

Fred Humphries is the shirtless FBI agent.
Fred Humphries is the shirtless FBI agent. Image via seattle times.
Fred Humphries is the shirtless FBI agent.
Fred Humphries is the shirtless FBI agent. Image via seattle times.

Jill Kelley’s twin sister Natalie Khawan hires celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred. But why?

Paula Broadwell emails had Jill Kelley scared for her life. Death threats?

Paula Broadwell regrets her affair with David Petraeus. Will the public buy it?

Paula Broadwell, David Petraeus mistress returns home with her husband. Still together for now.

Paula Broadwell, David Petraeus mistress turns up in public with husband.

Jill Kelley would like to remind you that Paula Broadwell is a criminal.

Oh really? Jill Kelley got to visit the White house three times in the last three months with her twin sister. But how?

Jill Kelley writes pleading emails to Tampa mayor claiming she is receiving threats all night.

Paula Broadwell’s emails to Jill Kelley revealed. Very catty indeed…

David Petraeus affair scandal part of a White House cover up?

David Petraeus’ wife can’t believe the shame Paula Broadwell has caused.

Even the guy doing the investigating is hiding something…The scandal that keeps getting weirder and weirder.

It seems not only were David Petraeus and Paula Broadwell involved in their own juicy private scandal but the FBI agent inspired to investigate them had his own fair share of yummies to share as well.

What yummies you wonder? The shirtless topless photo of him being the hawt hunk that he actually is….

theseattletimes: The FBI agent who initiated the investigation that led to the resignation of CIA Director David Petraeus said Thursday a shirtless photograph of him found in the email of Tampa socialite Jill Kelley “was a tongue-in-cheek joke” sent to dozens of friends and acquaintances and was meant to be self-effacing, not sexual.

Then again define sexual in the context of major CIA operatives leading covert sexual affairs on the side with the man resolved to get to the bottom of it all now initiating their own sexy tease show?

The picture, which was sent to a reporter at The Seattle Times in 2010, was taken following a “hard workout” with the SWAT team at MacDill Air Force Base. He’s posed between a pair of target dummies that have a remarkable likeness to the buff agent. The caption on the photo, which was sent from a personal email account, reads, “Which One’s Fred?”

Unfortunately for Humphries that shit led to him investigated (I know the irony is too delicious) on account of him now being perceived as a smart ass by higher ups who by now were fuming on account of his reputation within the FBI of being too belligerent when it came to actually following orders.

At the time higher ups weren’t necessarily too ecstatic about pursuing some hanky panky emails between Petraeus and Broadwell which led to Humphries, who was by now no longer assigned to the case, deciding anyway to go over some heads and reaching out directly to U.S. Rep. Dave Reichert (a Republican) who then put it in his top priority bin. I know political partisanship in over drive…

What’s also got some wondering is what actually got Humphries so ‘passionately’ motivated to pursue the case on behalf of Jill Kelley in the first place, judging from the tint of sexual aura in the above photo it may well be that Humphries had a sexy thing for Kelley herself. Then again I’m starting to wonder if Humphries really just has a sexy thing for himself…?

And what does Humphries think of all the brouhaha coming his way? Let’s ask his lawyer, Lawrence Berger who offered the following:

“That picture was sent years before Ms. Kelley contacted him about this, and it was sent as part of a larger context of what I would call social relations in which the families would exchange numerous photos of each other.”

One can’t help wonder if at the end of the day what we really need isn’t so much an investigation of the ‘sex rompers’ but that of the investigators themselves….

So to get back to the question at the bottom of the photo, which one is Fred? He’s the ‘dummy’ with the erection….

Then there were these comments around the web which caught my eye as well:


So, okay, take at face value that sending a virtual stranger a photo of yourself without a shirt was intended as a joke (the experience of former Congressman Weiner probably provides ample evidence that it is an unwise form of humor).  There are people whose loved ones are missing and the FBI has not found them.  There are vicious murders that remain unresolved.  There are potential terrorists who travel to the US to find their next target…  And the most important thing on this guy’s agenda is to help a volunteer hospitality ambassador learn who is sending “threatening” emails (and please define “threatening.”  I know what you did at “x” party is not a threat).  Why not the local police, which is where the average Amercan would turn? And then, when he thought there might be more to the investigation he contacts Republican members of Congress claiming there was a coverup (did he contact his organization’s inspector general, first, which is what protocol dicates)?  Do lots of FBI officers do this?  


But but but he was being a good patriot because he believed the conspiracy and investigation were being silenced and covered up for Obama’s political gain! He’s a real murrican!  


via commentary: Unless there’s more to this, the FBI has some explaining to do. Not only is Humphries being investigated for by the Office of Professional Responsibility for what now appears to be a non-issue, but anonymous FBI sources have also spent days dragging his name through the mud by implying the photo was inappropriate and a sign he was “obsessed” with Jill Kelley. Again, maybe there’s something we’re missing, but it’s starting to sound like his infraction was simply being a whistle-blower to Congress. 


via hotairSo Humphries knew right off the bat that not only was Gen. John Allen somehow involved in this but whoever was harassing Kelley had non-public info about both his and Petraeus’s whereabouts. Maybe that’s why he followed up on the case so doggedly, not because he was infatuated with Kelley. And maybe he had reason to be suspicious: According to Reuters, the feds have found much more classified information on Broadwell’s computer than they expected to. Could be that she had access to it rightfully, per her security clearance, and simply didn’t store it securely. We’ll see; that’s what the raid on her home two days ago was designed to find out.


via sfchronicle: Still, the seemingly unfettered ability of federal investigators to expand a search that began with socialite Jill Kelley complaining to an FBI friend about online harassment shows the extent to which our Fourth Amendment protection against “unreasonable search and seizure” has been obliterated in the post-9/11 expansion of government surveillance. Kelley’s grievance might have fallen on deaf ears if it had gone to someone other than an FBI agent who was out to impress her – as suggested by the shirtless photos he sent her.


Sharing information about an ongoing investigation with a political operative, so it can be used for political purposes, is DEAD WRONG. Especially since the FBI is an Executive body. If any information was passed it should have been to the executive branch along the proper chain of command. He should be FIRED!


From what I could gather, the agents that searched Broadwell’s (is that a Bond-girl name or what?) home had their shirts on, so that’s an improvement, right? 


Nobody seem to want to touch on the matter of him being a Republican douchebag with an agenda to speed up the investigation he felt wasn’t moving fast enough… to embarrass the Obama admin prior to a presidential election.


Now, we have a new conspiracy to cover up the FBI conspiracy that is hiding the PETRAEUS conspiracy that is covering up the CIA conspiracy that is shrouding the Rice conspiracy who hid the TRUTH about Benghazi.


This is so dirty.

When every news source in the country reports the exact same information on the same day at the same time, you know the Whitehouse is playing the media like a fiddle.

I still think the media is waiting to destroy or elevate Patreaus depending on his loyalty to Obama. The woman’s reputation will be determined whether she’s pro-choice or not.

Did Obama sacrifce our Libyan Ambassador’s life? Was he thrown under the bus for reasons unknown? Did the Ambassador disagree with Obama on something that caused all this?


Not to mention that three generals and one admiral with knowledge of what happened in Benghazi are now discredited, demoted, resigned, or reassigned. What happened in Benghazi, and what our government was doing, is so big to require powerful people to be destroyed. We need to keep focus on Benghazi, and resist getting obsessed with this sex scandal, which is designed to distract.


The FBI’s conduct here is outrageous, and the latest “raid” on Broadwell’s house (staged for the cameras) is a belated effort to gin up some supposed national security leak or “crime.” As you indicated, they will almost certainly find something in all those boxes and computers since it’s impossible to talk to a four star general for ten minutes without hearing something “classified.”