Home Gawker The ascent of the celebrity blogger. A who’s who in the sleaze...

The ascent of the celebrity blogger. A who’s who in the sleaze department.


The words on the shirt say it all...

only because I’m trying to figure out if my erection’s sharp enough to pierce Christopher Knight’s liver then take Adrianne to a non-extradition country.

Not exactly James Joyce, but irreverent none the less and with an endless helping of half naked women and even a section devoted to women in bikini’s one can spend the whole day frying their brain on this wonderful bunk. If this blog would be the equivalent of a drug, it would be the crack of celebrity-dom, because looking out for your brain is something you’re unlikely to get with these folks.

7/Perez Hilton.
Shameless overweight monster who feeds on the souls of school girls and their siblings. With a capacity to barely spell and even now become his own celebrity (which should require Perez to be beaten mercilessly by the contingent that espouses that true journalists don’t aspire to be their own celebrity but we can of course just shake our heads at Perez and understand that deep down he is a bigger media whore than the media whores he covers), this omnivore is the preferred staple of mindless Mid West Americans.

With a lacking capacity to be witty or even clever, his only claim is that he knows how to use white chalk and scribble it up and down people’s faces and insinuate that they are crack heads or nearly as deranged as him. A boring read and at this stage of the game, Perez should really leave the party, go on a diet, check into fame rehab and learn to appreciate that photo copying publicist’s press releases and drawing pictures over them is a dying art that nobody on the West or East coast cares about. Please Perez, pack it in, my kid sister hates you.

6/ Going down the food chain is TMZ
. These creatures are the reason why girls in LA have big boobs and repetitive boob jobs, chin implants and re touches to  every other conceivable bodily movement. Adored by the Michael Jackson estate, on retainer by Lindsay Lohan, who we assume preys to them every morning the way a devout Muslim preys to Mecca, this celebrity blog journal is as nasty, pedantic and as useless as they come.

With a preoccupation to every celebrity’s driving record, their relationship status (yes TMZ- Jennifer Aniston is still single and Lilo is still a coke head but who cares?!) and criminal record they are the slutty version of ethical journalism. Of course that’s an oxymoron, because as you know no one has ethics in LA, just dollar bills and coke smears in the inside of their eyeballs. We bet one day America will one day stop caring about Jennifer Aniston and Lilo and the TMZ dream will quickly sink. Blah!