occasional human interest story pertaining to the onion bumps on Martha Stewart’s ass. We continue to applaud you Richard and thank you deeply for bringing a wry smile to our faces every late morning.
2/ Michael K– faggot and bitch du jour that we can never get enough of ever of D-Listed This girl hates life, and when he tells you that you be better be afraid you better take his word. The sworn enemy of every socialite and shiny princess in America, Michael has no shame in deriding the great continent we call America.
Regular readers will know that he has a penchant for hot sluts of the day, birthday degenerates, a crazy love affair for Lilo, his secret daughter with Michael Lohan, and anything that looks at him the wrong way. He is simply one of the sleaziest celebrity gossip writers the world has come to know, but at least you know he’s laughing his ass off as he revenges himself of all the horrible things his classmates once did to him.
1/ Which brings us to the winner of America’s sleazy gossip columns – Richard Lawson of Gawker.
For those of you who take the time to read Richard you will undoubtedly come to the conclusion that he hates life, phonies, overtly shiny objects and is prone to making socialites like Devorah Rose cry deeply into the night. Last week he had the audacity to question Devorah’s preeminence and we can only tell you that Devorah has only now just begun to calm down (sort of). Never mind the splendid character assassination of the wicked witch of the Upper East Side- Jules Kirby.
In this episode Jules didn’t do much. She went to some sort of party and spoke French. It was weird to hear her speak French, because it’s such a beautiful, classy language but coming out of her warted filth-mouth it sounded like poop and rocks being put in a broken blender. “Here’s your poop-rock smoothie. The Jules Kirby special!” It was nice because when Jules spoke French she was speaking to a Senegalese elevator operator who was black, so it proved to the world that she is not racist. Before that at a bar a tiny white girl told Jules that she is a mean girl and Jules said “No I’m not” and then killed the girl’s family and burnt down her house and salted the earth so nothing can ever grown there again. Then she exclaimed “Poop rocks!” and gave the camera a thumbs up and somewhere a baby lamb fell over dead.