Home Scandal and Gossip Minneapolis baby found sucking on crack ball

Minneapolis baby found sucking on crack ball

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babyJust another day in the world of marvelous parenting.

Daycare workers in Minneapolis this week had the distinct displeasure of finding a thirteen-month-old baby sucking on a ball of crack the size of “maybe a couple of jellybeans”, according to Jesse Garcia of Minneapolis Police (because obviously there is a need here to talk in terms that babies can understand).

Fortunately, the small person in question didn’t succeed in getting high because the plastic wrapper on the jellybeans— sorry, crack— remained in tact, but was rushed to hospital nonetheless. And once again, it looks like parents are in the frame. Staff at the daycare said that no one can get in or out of the building without identification, so the suspect list is more or less finite.

“I emptied out the room thoroughly an I had everybody with vacuums and hoses and Shopvacs getting in the corners. Anything that looked like it should be sucked up, suck it up,” said Dr Diane Thibodeaux, the centre’s CEO. We presume she means with the vacuum cleaner. Way to destroy evidence, Dr Thibodeaux. What are you hiding?

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