It’s time to start hating men again folks and the reason seems to be because once again another tabloid periodical has come to the astounding realization that at the end of the day all men want from women is sex. Lots of it and at any cost. Hmm, earth shuddering realization that has me calling my beauty salon so I can wax off those niggly hairs off my back. Yes, how uncouth, but I’ll lie about that too when one day I get round to meeting one of you in person.
Here goes kids:
theawl: The August issue of Seventeen (don’t ask) has a particularly juicy “LIES He Tells You Straight To Your Face” column! This is an interesting editorial component. Is it… service? Is it fear-mongering exploitation? Somewhere in the middle? Mostly I can’t decide which of these two boys sound more evil.
Indeed very evil. And the lies, how ghastly! (how could you not love scrawny kittens hissing at you?) Imagine having the gall to pretend to be an investment banker when in actuality all you are is a pauper intern, with star lust eyes and the idea in your head that if you keep repeating the mantra that you are an eviscerated male who has earned his stripes by becoming a hero for yourself all women you will finally one day get laid.
On the other hand all a woman has to do is make sure she doesn’t put on too much weight (yes, that’s another report I came across that has me preying that women are at this very moment on some fast forward treadmill- run girl run!), have the correct giggle and highlights in her hair and act as deferential when the alpha male finally comes to seduce her save her life. But of course that’s all lies told to us by Cosmo and all the other teen girl mags. Women today are emancipated and deeply into equality, right?
But what do I know? Let’s have a look at one facebook conversation I had this morning with a member of the opposite sex (yes I am one of those males you quickly run to the other side of the street when you see walking past you, I spit green fireballs bixches) to see where it’s all at:
The moral of the lesson? Men will always lie because they have been conditioned that although that itchy feeling between your legs ladies might be confused for love and lust, it doesn’t carry much weight unless the man somehow manages to convince or lie to you dammes that at the same time he is an alpha male virtuoso. At least according to the main stream media, which is all we ever read kids. Blah.
But sometimes when two rational horny people get together and are honest with each other and understand that love is an intimate thing with lots of sacrifices it just might work out, otherwise there’s this guy waiting for you down the street ladies. He’ll gladly take care of your needs for a fair trade.
What fair trade? He’ll tell you over the dinner table of course…(please be sure to wear satin knickers that evening ladies, or none at all…)
All the wonderful lies and myths we in the media love to shove down your love starved throats. Blah!