With Mark a tad preoccupied with one of the patrons ( a German exchange student somehow confused as to how she had arrived there that night ) I took another stab at enjoying myself with the friends of my most embarrassing hookup. Somehow bar service got even worse after the open bar ended, and the bartenders mostly danced around, swiveling their hips and shaking their boobs on one another. “They’re like blonde Spanish girls, you know?” said the guy next to me. Funny, cause then this girl Jen Marden, one of those reality stars from make believe TV pulled some guy and began to order him out when he got a bit close to her derriere. It would have been funny if I had been even a little bit drunk.
After waving and calling out to the bartenders for a good 15 minutes, we reached over grabbed a bottle of Belvedere and a handful of lime slices, and hid in a karaoke room to do shots and eat someone else’s nachos. I went to the bathroom and waited, dizzy and hazy and drunk(finally) for 10 minutes, while a couple of guys finished up in the stall. (I’ll leave that to your imagination…)
I came out and I was approached by natty dresser Uncle Jimmy, a man who is far less creepy than his name makes him sound. When I realized the glowing letters on the electronic banner that decorated his fedora had blurred into one smear of red light, I decided to throw in the towel. I made it out by asking one burly, leather-jacketed man after another to direct me towards the exit, and when I finally made it out, the bouncer said, “Bye sweetie, have a good rest of the night.” He seemed stunned when I grabbed his arm, and yelled “Thank you I had a wonderful time!!!” and teetered off into the night.