When fame and blue jump suits go hand in hand…
It’s not often that your favorite movie star gets to strut like a make believe alien but sometimes that’s the way the cookie crumbles and all we can do is just sit back and ask ourselves why and how the blue jump man came along.
Without further ado, let’s go inside the dark and crazy mind of our favorite coked-up, resurrected actor: Mickey Mouse— we mean Mickey Rourke…
1/ Mickey’s new girlfriend will only do it with him as long as he promises to eternally humiliate himself in public (this should ensure perpetual sex for Mickey!)
2/ Mickey is interested in starting a new trend and once he has it figured out he will notify Page 6 of his major new feat.
3/ Mickey is trying to disguise how lonely he is.
4/ Mickey was accidentally abducted by aliens last week and still can’t get the prison uniform off. He was told he will have to wait until it eventually melts off.
5/ Mickey was purposelessly abducted by a film director and made to ‘method act.’
6/ Mickey is trying out for a new job as delivery boy for Frosty the Blue Crack Chicken.
7/ Mickey is secretly laughing at us for actually taking him so seriously.
8/ Mickey woke up so high that afternoon he didn’t realize that his outfit might offend the sensibilities of the world he couldn’t give a damn about.
9/ Mickey is hoping that his new disguise as Bozzo the Blue Crack Chicken will help him get a new lead role as Bozzo the Blue Crack Chicken.