Home Scandal and Gossip Mysterious Block of Wood Discovered on Iceberg at Magnetic South Pole

Mysterious Block of Wood Discovered on Iceberg at Magnetic South Pole


Begin wildly conspiring: Australian ABC‘s Karen Barlow, who is traveling to Antarctica on the Aurora Australis to study glacial ice, has spotted this rectangular block of wood perched prominently atop an iceberg within the no compass region around the magnetic south pole. 

According to Barlow, “Wildlife watchers near Aurora Australis’ bridge first thought it was a relaxing seal but it was soon apparent it was rectangular in shape.” And, some say, startlingly similar to the monolith in 2001 A Space Odyssey...  

Naturally, theories from serious to sarcastic have been bursting through the blogosphere.  

Said one commenter, “It’s a door – and when you open it there’s a staircase, which leads to a secret passage way to the North Pole. I thought everyone knew about this!” 

And another, claiming to be Adolf Hitler, “You vill ALL schtop lookink at ze exit hatch for our Untergroundt UFO-Schnaffenfatzer NOW!” Which was only a matter of time, because we all know it’s notoriously difficult not to slip into a German drawl anytime underground Antarctic bases are involved. 

But whether it’s Elvis’s hideaway home or a piece of timber deposited by migrating swallows, one theme in these theories is common to nearly them all. As one commenter, going by the name ‘Peter’ noted “This is the end people.” Like always. 

Your move, Julian Assange

  • O.o

  • Heinrich D. Bag

    Foot locker from the Captain of the Titanic.

  • nedmorlef

    That’s my FED-UP package that never arrived like their insurance payment.

  • diablosage27

    Has anyone gone up to the piece of wood and investigated it?

  • Why didnt they pick the damned thing up? Problem solved.

  • kirsten

    they need to solve this in my lifetime

  • rooster


  • Robobotenic

    Quite Clearly Pandora’s Box

  • opiate46

    Please. It’s just another entrance to Narnia. 

  • Deflorerory

    its all natural…penguins piss ice cubes and sh!t bricks!

  • Anonymous

    isnt the south pole in the middle of Antarctica…..so why is there ocean in these pics….

  • Tim Miller

    II have tertiary syphilis.

  • W J Miller

    this was not a serious article to all the wackos that commented like it was anti con I’m looking at you.

    But is no more ridiculous than the ghost stories and UFO sightings.

  • Lucien Saint Dubois

    Holly krap! I just figured it out. Last time Santa was down that a way he had a spell of trouble with his altimeter. He done pulled up and away from the berg in the Nick of time shitten bricks the whole way.


  • Sir Oscar Whiskey

    I was just wondering where Dick Cheney was hiding.

  • pmark

    I am sorry, you are all wrong.
    That is the kitchen cutting board from the International Spacestation.

  • anonymous

    Maybe it’s a grand piano.

  • HumorUs


  • Italics Mine

    It’s a bird!
    It’s a plane!
    No, it’s just a piece of Santa’s sleigh.

  • Noah

    Its obviously a part of the Ark to remind us of global warming!

  • Tim_the_Enchanter

    Well yeah Afircan swallows maybe, but Afircan swallows are non-migratatory.
    (But it could have been grasped by the husk)

  • d00d

    or maybe the drain for the world?

  • d00d

    it’s a door to the vip room where elvis, amelia aerhardt, andy kaufman, the mahdi, etc. are having a snow party. they’re going through piles of coke like vacuum cleaners.

  • HumorUs

    Now…if they were African swallows….well then, yeah, I could see that!

  • benzjie

    It’s the door of a fridge that realy needs defrosting.

  • I can’t believe I wasted my time reading this.

  • dammit

    If it was an empty bottle would any body care? There is sh”i”t all over the world. So
    what…. so pick it up and throw it out when you get back to port

  • Aravoth

    So did they retrieve the block of wood to do some testing on it? It might be ancient. It might be a piece oh Noah’s Ark. It might be just a piece of wood placed there on the ice by some con artist penguin trying to pull a hoax. Okay, maybe not Noah’s Ark, but the con artist penguin is a big possibility. I wood be a little knotty but I don’t want to get censored.

  • chris

    its obviously the podium that James and Phil of “cliamte gate” infamy will address the ABC reporter who will woop with glee at their sermon on the effects of AGW…..its also hollow and inside is a stuffed polar bear who they will bring out and put on some piece of ice…..dont matter they dont exist down there, most people are too stupid to know.

  • Naturally….. “something” with such potentiality and magnitude of interests at all levels…has NOT even been acquired, nor is anyone planning to acquire it. Strange in itself. TY

  • Gizmo880

    I like a conspiracy theory as much as anyone, but it’s just a piece of wood on top of some ice. Good grief.

  • It’s probably a certain President’s birth certificate and all the paperwork, including from Kindergarten all the way to College.

  • Zara

    It is well known that it is Harold Holt’s coffin.

  • jim hicks

    EASY READING – do readers know Jensen’s story ??

    love all – jim

  • Mike

    It’s the last Beta-max tape left in existence with the secret evidence on it of who killed Kennedy. It was put there to be discovered in the future.

  • This is all that is left…since everyone jumped off Obama ship.

    Really though..it is weird to see such..What I want to know..is How big is it?

  • Cyrano de Bergerac

    Why that’s too easy! That’ll be the podium from which the Emperor Penguin gives his semi annual speeches.

    Nice try Karen “Duh… It’s the box the South Pole is stored in….”….

  • Anti-Con

    Ok,….wtf,… aren’t there ENOUGH F#*king CONSPIRACY THEORY’S filling AIR to satisfy ALL of the NUT-BAGS in the WORLD, do we really need MORE BS like this????


  • ADP

    Well, depending on size, it could be carried by African swallows…

  • Bodie

    That’s just Trex decking material being tested for performance in extreme cold.

  • hp

    “or a piece of timber deposited by migrating swallows”

    Just how big might these migrating swallows be to “deposit” a pretty big chunk of wood, anywho?

  • andy b

    Santa Claus, based in the North Pole needs a shortcut to reach southern hemisphere based delivery locations. DUHH….

  • Laurie

    Should there be open water that far south.

  • charles

    Obviously, one of the icebreaker ships had some practical jokers on it, that tossed some wood overboard when they breaking through ice.

  • Duh… It’s the box the South Pole is stored in…..

  • Ahnubis

    I Don’t understand why don’t they just go get it so we can find out what it is ?

  • hitler

    What a useless article…