Gayle Harvey Heckman Michigan daughter posts scathing obituary about her mother, recently deceased woman, Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull, leading to complaints and the publisher forced to remove obit. But there were some positive results.
Define childhood trauma? A Michigan woman has left little to the imagination as to her feelings towards her recently deceased mother following the sharing of an obituary of her dead mom.
In a scathing attack, Gayle Harvey Heckman accused the parent, Linda Lernal Harvey Cullum Smith Stull, who died Dec. 12, of condoning sexual assault against her, as well as lying about who her biological father was, the Sturgis Journal reported.
The daughter’s revealing expose led to the publisher removing the obit from the Three Rivers news site when readers complained about its ‘shocking contents’.
@jessicabaileyhassan Gail said you are NOT taking these secrets to the grave with you ! #greenscreen ♬ original sound – JessicaBaileyHassan
‘Well, honestly, I wanted to write it for myself because I wanted to clear my name,’ Heckman told the Journal.
‘For 24 years and before that, my mother has had to come up with a reason as to why her daughter isn’t in her life that doesn’t make her look like a monster. … I had to reclaim my name,’ the daughter said in self defense.
Heckman left few stones unturned as she proceeded to document all the ways her mother ‘failed her’.
‘As a mother, Lernal was violent, hateful, and cruel. She physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally, and financially abused Gayle,’ the print obit stated.
@canweplayoutsidenow Gayle did NOT hold back! #gayleheckman #gayleharveyheckman #lindalernelobituary #obituary #honestobituary #survivor #trauma ♬ Song For A Pure Heart – Mei-lan
It also named one alleged abuser, an ex-husband of her mom’s whom the Journal did not identify.
‘Lernal accused Gayle of ‘trying to steal her husband’ and proceeded to beat her senselessly,’ the obit stated.
‘Gayle and her family forgive Lernal and hope that she has found peace,’ it stated.
But there was much more to come…
Continued the since removed obituary, ‘Lernal will not be missed by Gayle or her family. They all understand the world is a much better place without her.’
Heckman conceded that she found it cathartic to pen the vicious obit vomit.
‘I wasn’t trying to be hateful, I genuinely … don’t have any hate. I am angry,’ she told the Journal. ‘I don’t understand if we don’t talk about this, how are we supposed to be break the cycle of trauma, especially generational trauma.’
Mike Wilcox, publisher of Wilcox Newspapers, said the obit ran in the print edition of Three Rivers on Dec. 15.
‘It was submitted through our website, and was published without a good look on our part,’ he wrote the Journal in an email.
‘We took it down from (the) website after complaints about its content poured in. After taking (it) down, several (mostly the daughter) complaints and phone calls were received admonishing us for doing so,’ Wilcox stated.
Heckman said she was disappointed that the obit was taken down, adding that she and her husband only called the publisher twice.
In a purported response from Heckman shared to X, Heckman condemned the decision to un-publish the piece.
‘As most survivors know, we expect to be attacked by child abuse apologists for not falling into line,’ she reportedly said according to the dailymail.
‘Especially, when there’s deep generational trauma. My name has been defamed by my abuser for my entire life.
‘Most especially, when she had to explain why her daughter wasn’t in her life. The obituary in part, was to reclaim my name.
‘To set the record straight once and for all. I am Lernals daughter. I am her ‘family’. My truth, just like the obituary, isn’t fake.
‘Wilcox paper has made their stance clear. They protect and shield child abusers. Even in death. People who protect monsters are no different to me than my abuser.’
Heckman told the Journal that many people have since reached out to her with their own stories of abuse. Cause where’s there’s a match stick there’s bound to be a match box yearning to be lit.
Good taste or not, respect for the dead or not, redemption, catharsis and closure finally arrived.
‘I’m 54 years old and the internet, piece by piece, people were leaving love,’ the daughter told the Journal. ‘And I could feel my heart … the hole in my heart starting to fill.’
