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Hello Officer: ‘Is that a bag of meth disguised as a hair bow dangling from my head?’

Jessica Bernice Kropp
Jessica Bernice Kropp: Meth bag disguised as a hair bow tie.
Jessica Bernice Kropp
Jessica Bernice Kropp: Meth bag disguised as a hair bow tie. Images via police bookings.

Jessica Bernice Kropp: Arkansas woman with meth bag disguised as a hair bow tie charged with assortment of driving infractions and drugs violations.

Also making her tabloid debut is 38 year old Arkansas woman, Jessica Bernice Kropp who recently found herself testing the patience of a traffic police officer when she tried convincing him that a bag of meth dangling from her head was the latest in hair bow trends making its way through heartland America. Do you suppose?

The good times started when Kropp was pulled over on September 24, early Thursday evening, circa 6.40pm by Flippin police officer Kenneth Looney for a routine traffic stop. Except as Officer Looney was about to find out there was nothing particularly routine taking place in Jessica Bernice Kropp’s choice of lifestyle.

Upon pulling the woman over, the unassuming cop asked Kropp to take out her driving license only to be told by our collective hero that stuff like that doesn’t matter to her and that she was driving with a suspended license.

But that was just the beginning the Baxter Bulletin reported.

Kropp then fessed up to also not having car insurance along with not knowing where the registration for the ‘borrowed’ car was. 

Stay with me kids, we’re getting close to the punch line which is Jessica Bernice Kropp’s topsy turvy, ‘let’s light them to the heavens’ existence.

bag of meth hair bow tie Arkansas woman
Pictured, Jessica Bernice Kropp.

Oh really? ‘I didn’t know that was there a bag of meth disguised as a hair bow tie dangling from my head- someone else put that there and I didn’t know what it was.’

Having called in to dispatch Officer Looney learned Kropp having five valid warrants out for her arrest in no less thank four Arkansas counties.

This included four failure to appear warrants and one failure to pay fines warrant.

‘Hmm. I’ve got a live one here.’ 

Looney then ordered Kropp to step out of the vehicle in which he intended to place her under arrest.  

But that’s when Officer Looney noticed the fxckery that Kropp was trying to play on him for a fool.

Taking a closer look, the police officer noticed a peculiar looking bow clipped into the woman’s hair.  

According to an affidavit shared by Baxter Bulletin, Looney found a small bag of methamphetamine fashioned like a bow on the side of her head. You don’ say? 

Noted Officer Looney in his report: ‘As I was detaining Jessica Kropp, I observed what appeared to be a bow in her hair. The bow appeared to be a small, zip-locked bag containing a white crystal-like substance of suspected methamphetamine.’

‘The baggie had a small rubber band around the middle, giving it a bow shape and was attached to a bobby pin. The substance was affixed to the right side of her head, attached to her hair.’ 

Bingo! Busted. Go to Jail.

A photo snapped by authorities revealed the pink tied bow fastened neatly atop Kropp’s pink tinted, blonde hair.  

‘Are you serious?,’ Looney said.

‘You have a bow in your hair made from a bag of meth.’

‘Who me Officer?!’ the Arkansas drug addict mused.

Adding, according to the arrest affidavit: ‘I didn’t know that was there, someone else put that there and I didn’t know what it was.’

Raise your hands kids if you too have also used the excuse that someone else put the demon in your life in your pants when you weren’t looking.

bag of meth hair bow tie Arkansas woman

Jessica Bernice Kropp fooling nobody except herself universe drama:

From there, Kropp ‘begged’ not to have the car towed, only for Officer Looney intent on discovering on what other possible illegal items were ‘hidden’ inside the vehicle. 

After promising not the tow the car, Kropp allowed Looney to search for the other hidden items.

In total, Looney found multiple bags of meth and drug paraphernalia that included a vape pen filled with THC oil.

He also found a second vape pen filled with a mixture of THC oil and meth.   

As she cooperated, Looney only charged her with one count of drug paraphernalia for all her items.

The Marion County Sheriff’s Office reports our collective hero being booked at 7.22pm with a $22,530 bond.  

Kropp has since been charged with possession of methamphetamine, with Intent to sell or deliver and driving on a suspended driver’s license. Of course there was one more violation that the Gods should have booked Kropp with, the temerity to insult our collective intelligence. But that too is just another inconvenient mind game when fumbling for our ‘blast off device’ on some rainy evening.