It seems Queen Elizabeth has a thing for modesty, something she may have come to believe that her grandson’s wife, Kate Middleton might be a smidgen lacking. Case in point, Kate Middleton’s skirts which the Queen of England has deemed far too short for her liking.
Which naturally elicited the Queen of England sending down a ‘dictum’ on how the Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge ought to dress for her upcoming tour of Australia. Naturally that shit included a lot of longer skirts and old timey jewels.
Advised the dictum: The overhaul will see Kate wearing couture daytime dresses with “lower hemlines” than she typically goes for. Additionally, she will be “encouraged to wear the tiaras favored by the Queen and Queen Mother,” and will also be urged to wear “statement jewelry and gemstones from the Queen’s personal collection.” The idea here is said to be positioning Kate—currently vacationing in the Caribbean, sans William, with baby George—as “more Royal than ever.”
Along with having to temper her dress sense, Kate Middleton will likely to require up to four outfits a day for the three-and-a-half- week trip with Queen Elizabeth having bequeathed that Kate’s clothes convey her status as the wife of one heir to the throne and the mother of another. Which is another tacit way of saying the Queen would like to see Australia keep voting no for a republic state and yes to British sovereignty.
In lieu of the new demands (yes kids, this is a lifetime deal that comes with all that money and prestige) Kate Middleton has already approached ‘preferred designers’ Alexander McQueen and Alice Temperley about creating gowns and dresses for the three-and-a-half-week trip.
Reports tell that the Queen will be closely watching Kate’s ‘performance’ and is hopeful that any future gusts of wind, errant paparazzi will this time keep her dear Kate in good knick as she to is made to take her rightful place in the dynasty.