The secret behind Florida isn’t the year round perfect weather but the photogenic zest of its more illustrious mug shot contenders.
Kids, who can’t help but smugly chime with pride when asked if they have a mugshot from hell that they would love to share with the world? After all there’s nothing that says you have arrived and really are the hawt bixch that you think you are when your hawt ass makes it in the category otherwise known as preferred mug shot candidate of the year.
That said, entering that revered category now includes Kelsey Smith who admittedly wows as he is seen spitting a matter of blood and gunk in our general direction. In fact so excited was Kelsey to have his photo taken the bixch had to have his head held in place by arresting officers to ensure future onlookers the wonderful gait that had momentarily transfixed Kelsey’s face.
At the time of his arrest, our collective hero it was said appeared drunk and had even desisted from exiting his car when asked to, instead choosing to ram his head against something sharp a number of times to affect the appropriate mugshot image for when it would eventually come time to take a photo off the good shit.
It was also understood that Kelsey in order to be persuaded to join officers at the daily dog pound had to be tased at least once in order to assist him in attaining the correct ‘I’m so fuxked up come and gone look’ that officers had a premonition would make for a stellar mugshot.
For unknown reasons, Kelsey refused to take a sobriety test when asked to by officers. Can anyone guess why? He was also said to be exhibiting steely glass eyes, a manifestation often achieved when one has been successfully snorting/injecting/or smoking the really good shit.
When in need of the perfect mug shot come down to Florida, arresting authorities know a trick or two in getting you to look your perfect best.