Home Pop Culture Tinsley Mortimer is now no longer an irrelevant NY socialite.

Tinsley Mortimer is now no longer an irrelevant NY socialite.

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Guess who's back? Tinsley Mortimer. What trick is our favorite media whore up to now?
Guess who's back? Tinsley Mortimer. What trick is our favorite media whore up to now?

Tinsley Mortimer is now no longer an irrelevant NY socialite.

Kids, I’ve taken to blowing balloons and running around with copious tears running down my face. Why you wonder? Because according to the NY Times socialite and specifically faux socialite Tinsley Mortimer is planning a resurrection of sorts. Yes once again I can watch from the sidelines as Tinsley rises from the ashes of Patrick McMullan‘s camera flood lights and inspires us with her grandness.

The dribble begins as thus: “…in a converted loft eight floors up, Tinsley Mortimer was also selling something aspirational: herself.

“The whole point is to expand my brand,” said Ms. Mortimer, a handbag designer, fashion muse and former New York social queen. Dethroned in 2010 after a series of missteps — including a derided reality show and a separation from her blue-blooded husband — Ms. Mortimer had been lying low, mostly out of the spotlight. But those days are over.

Those days are over? Really? Is that to suggest there is light after the end of the tunnel? If one is to take an objective look at all the pitiful creatures that romped on and off our TV sets last year on CW’s much ballyhooed temperamental show: “High Good for nothing Bixches,”there really isn’t that much good news to report.

Our hated wicked witch of the east: Devorah Rose has found herself at the butt of being a good for nothing user who will sell anything that isn’t taped down to lift her image. That includes tweeting images of old men with money who she strings along and then crying foul when the media doesn’t take the bait.

Then there was Jules Kirby who was chased out of town for being a racist something. As it has turned out she’s spent the last year traveling (yes dad’s money goes far) and trying quietly to redeem herself somewhere outside of NYC. Paul Calderon JoJo whatever his name is (you see I can’t even remember his name- here today, gone tomorrow) has completely disappeared, last we all read he had been arrested for squandering his good looks and trying too many times to name drop that he was socialite fixture and editor in chief Peter Davis‘ love interest until Peter scoffed red faced; “No comment….” The only thing still alive in that hawt mess is Malik So Chic who has been reduced to having to go back to being a club promoter now that his handbag line went nowhere. But who is bound to resurrect herself whose handline has somehow managed to catch a few eyes is Tinza.

Tinsley Mortimer: preferred hawt bixch.

And the NY Times ass kissing continues:

Ms. Mortimer, 35, has quietly enlisted agents, a manager and a publicist to advise her on her career, shore up her image and engineer her comeback. She has hosted shopping fund-raisers for the American Humane Association. And she is going out again, garnering mentions in party pages and popping up in bikini photos on gossip Web sites.

“I know when I go out and wear a pretty dress and get photographed, I’m going to be in the press, which will help with my business,” Ms. Mortimer said.

Hmm. What’s the adage? Once a media whore, always a media whore. And really when you can get your paws on money to spend on hungry publicists to re jig your image and our public lust for you anything is up for grabs. In fact I’m considering taking a shower and for once not sneering next time a yuppie half as much looks at me on the street. But what do I care I’m not an aspiring parasite socialite. Then again I’m worse. I’m a media hack bixch. But back to our mate Tinza….

Her latest promotional initiative is “Southern Charm,” a pink Ladurée macaron of a novel that is to be published by Simon & Schuster in May. It follows Minty, a South Carolinian in New York, through hurtful feuds, a marriage gone awry and multiple costume changes.

It’s a world that Ms. Mortimer, a former Virginia debutante, knows well.

Oh dear kids, I am frothing by the gills. Can someone please hand me a silk napkin to wipe away the drool?

‘Southern Charm’ as opposed to ‘Southern Farce?’ Then again why give it all away in the title? But here’s the part I really love:

But her quest for fame became grating to some. In 2009, she separated from Mr. Mortimer, which brought only more tabloid notoriety to the old New York family name — this time about his alleged infidelities and his distaste for her lifestyle. Then, in spring 2010, she starred in the television reality series “High Society.”

Yes, here today, gone tomorrow. Well except when you can scrap a few quarters to make the comeback that all your other ex cast mates have failed to make. Yes, I should be getting a phone call from Devorah Rose any minute no. Here it is: “WAAAAAAAAHHHHH.”

And here’s where the horse shit takes a diabolical twist. Yes let’s share the goodies. After all Tinza is in search of a comeback…

Meanwhile, her on-again, off-again relationship with Brian Mazza, 27, a restaurateur and businessman, has come to an end. The two met in 2009 on “High Society”; they got a dog (Bambi), and Mr. Mazza moved into her apartment. That relationship, too, raised society eyebrows.

But a few weeks ago, the couple decided to call it quits. The breakup seemed to be amicable; both said they remain supportive of each other’s ambitions. “The end goal is to build her brand,” Mr. Mazza said.

Hmm interesting, cause this is what I came across when I had a peek at Mr Mazza’s tweet history:

Brian Mazza  @BrianMazza  Reply  Retweet  Favorite · Open

Once you drop the negative in your life.. Your shoulders and back feel so much better..

Oh dear. That doesn’t so good. Never mind I hear that Tinza is now back to dating some new hawt bixch who is quite the catch. Well at least let’s hope so. But if you must know who just go to PMC’s website and see for yourself (at least someone still loves our Tinza…blah).

Tinza Mortimer is to be sure the newest hawtest bixch bound to resurrect herself in New York society when you least expect it. Who says money can’t buy you class?

 

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  • Anonymous

    I will be sleeping in a tent outside Barnes and Noble in attempt to get the first one ..

    ………….oh …. this isn’t for the new iPad ?!?!?!?!?

    .

  • Anonymous

    I don’t know who this person is, or any of the screaming, classless “reality” show drama queens and kings because I don’t watch them, but this is exacgtly why Jon Hamm made his statement questioning why these nobodies with no talent make so much money. It’s really absurd.

  • scallywag

    Thank you for your thoughtful commentary Mr London. Now will all the next aspiring socialites step up to the podium or do they dare?

  • Tinsley Mortimer, aka “the TinZ” was never a faux-socialite. Let’s be quite clear about that. I would argue that the quest to push or have her in front of the camera was exceeded by her thirst for it frankly. She represented a look, a style and her humility belied a “Being There” sort of esthetic of Manhattan Society. She embodied the visual of the civilized and yet stylish life of the Upper East Side it girl. The Fame Game in many respects, found her, and It turned into something which perhaps she embraced even, so much so that maybe it lead to the disintegration of her marriage. Who knows whether it was the principal cause of it or if it was something else entirely. Nevertheless, Tinsley was lead down a path that she ultimately embraced for better or worse. She became the symbol of what was possible from social fame. As a result, more “society girls” who normally clung to the exclusive private world that resembled a scene out of The Metropolitan began to contemplate whether the spotlight made sense and yet others who were not part of this world tried to become her. So the fact is, however she got there in the pre- financial crisis economy, she became a symbol to emulate as much as attempt to tear down. The TinZ could survive “High Society” even if she hob-nobbed with lower life forms in making that show. The camera always found the girl and truth told, she has never been a self absorbed bitch for it. Few photographers who did not have some of their own personal issues ever had any issue taking Tinsley’s photo. They sought her out not because Tinsley was somebody they were supposed to photograph or even had to, but because they wanted to. There has been and likely always be something about this girl. Sorry, I hate to disagree but I have never seen her for the caricature that others have made her out to be. The TinZ is simply what Manhattan wanted an it Society girl to be. Regardless of what transpires in her life, she will return, leave us only to return again. She is part of the fabric of New York Social history.