Tinsley Mortimer is now no longer an irrelevant NY socialite.
Kids, I’ve taken to blowing balloons and running around with copious tears running down my face. Why you wonder? Because according to the NY Times socialite and specifically faux socialite Tinsley Mortimer is planning a resurrection of sorts. Yes once again I can watch from the sidelines as Tinsley rises from the ashes of Patrick McMullan‘s camera flood lights and inspires us with her grandness.
The dribble begins as thus: “…in a converted loft eight floors up, Tinsley Mortimer was also selling something aspirational: herself.
“The whole point is to expand my brand,” said Ms. Mortimer, a handbag designer, fashion muse and former New York social queen. Dethroned in 2010 after a series of missteps — including a derided reality show and a separation from her blue-blooded husband — Ms. Mortimer had been lying low, mostly out of the spotlight. But those days are over.
Those days are over? Really? Is that to suggest there is light after the end of the tunnel? If one is to take an objective look at all the pitiful creatures that romped on and off our TV sets last year on CW’s much ballyhooed temperamental show: “High Good for nothing Bixches,”there really isn’t that much good news to report.
Our hated wicked witch of the east: Devorah Rose has found herself at the butt of being a good for nothing user who will sell anything that isn’t taped down to lift her image. That includes tweeting images of old men with money who she strings along and then crying foul when the media doesn’t take the bait.
Then there was Jules Kirby who was chased out of town for being a racist something. As it has turned out she’s spent the last year traveling (yes dad’s money goes far) and trying quietly to redeem herself somewhere outside of NYC. Paul Calderon JoJo whatever his name is (you see I can’t even remember his name- here today, gone tomorrow) has completely disappeared, last we all read he had been arrested for squandering his good looks and trying too many times to name drop that he was socialite fixture and editor in chief Peter Davis‘ love interest until Peter scoffed red faced; “No comment….” The only thing still alive in that hawt mess is Malik So Chic who has been reduced to having to go back to being a club promoter now that his handbag line went nowhere. But who is bound to resurrect herself whose handline has somehow managed to catch a few eyes is Tinza.
And the NY Times ass kissing continues:
Ms. Mortimer, 35, has quietly enlisted agents, a manager and a publicist to advise her on her career, shore up her image and engineer her comeback. She has hosted shopping fund-raisers for the American Humane Association. And she is going out again, garnering mentions in party pages and popping up in bikini photos on gossip Web sites.
“I know when I go out and wear a pretty dress and get photographed, I’m going to be in the press, which will help with my business,” Ms. Mortimer said.
Hmm. What’s the adage? Once a media whore, always a media whore. And really when you can get your paws on money to spend on hungry publicists to re jig your image and our public lust for you anything is up for grabs. In fact I’m considering taking a shower and for once not sneering next time a yuppie half as much looks at me on the street. But what do I care I’m not an aspiring
parasite socialite. Then again I’m worse. I’m a media hack bixch. But back to our mate Tinza….
Her latest promotional initiative is “Southern Charm,” a pink Ladurée macaron of a novel that is to be published by Simon & Schuster in May. It follows Minty, a South Carolinian in New York, through hurtful feuds, a marriage gone awry and multiple costume changes.
It’s a world that Ms. Mortimer, a former Virginia debutante, knows well.
Oh dear kids, I am frothing by the gills. Can someone please hand me a silk napkin to wipe away the drool?
‘Southern Charm’ as opposed to ‘Southern Farce?’ Then again why give it all away in the title? But here’s the part I really love:
But her quest for fame became grating to some. In 2009, she separated from Mr. Mortimer, which brought only more tabloid notoriety to the old New York family name — this time about his alleged infidelities and his distaste for her lifestyle. Then, in spring 2010, she starred in the television reality series “High Society.”
Yes, here today, gone tomorrow. Well except when you can scrap a few quarters to make the comeback that all your other ex cast mates have failed to make. Yes, I should be getting a phone call from Devorah Rose any minute no. Here it is: “WAAAAAAAAHHHHH.”
And here’s where the horse shit takes a diabolical twist. Yes let’s share the goodies. After all Tinza is in search of a comeback…
Meanwhile, her on-again, off-again relationship with Brian Mazza, 27, a restaurateur and businessman, has come to an end. The two met in 2009 on “High Society”; they got a dog (Bambi), and Mr. Mazza moved into her apartment. That relationship, too, raised society eyebrows.
But a few weeks ago, the couple decided to call it quits. The breakup seemed to be amicable; both said they remain supportive of each other’s ambitions. “The end goal is to build her brand,” Mr. Mazza said.
Hmm interesting, cause this is what I came across when I had a peek at Mr Mazza’s tweet history:
Brian Mazza @BrianMazza Reply Retweet Favorite · Open
Once you drop the negative in your life.. Your shoulders and back feel so much better..
Oh dear. That doesn’t so good. Never mind I hear that Tinza is now back to dating some new hawt bixch who is quite the catch. Well at least let’s hope so. But if you must know who just go to PMC’s website and see for yourself (at least someone still loves our Tinza…blah).
Tinza Mortimer is to be sure the newest hawtest bixch bound to resurrect herself in New York society when you least expect it. Who says money can’t buy you class?