Mariah wants as much as attention as you are willing to give her, but just promise her you’re the daddy of her baby first.
Here’s an interesting story making the rounds this weekend- aspiring fame whore Mariah Yeater apparently tried to hit up her ex boyfriend (before later trying to hit up her teen idol Justin Make More Money Bieber) 19 year old John Terrranova as the father of her baby.
Which according to John must have passed as an interesting concept until he did some math and reminded her logistically that couldn’t be the case on account of the fact that her ass had been in California for two months already whilst she had only been back home in Las Vegas for a week, which means getting pregnant next to impossible unless of course she found a speck of Mr Terranova’s sperm on her handbag and tried snorting it up her uterus canal with one of them durable striped straws that one is offered at the local 7-11 slurpy jalopy stores.
But not being one to take no for an answer Mariah insisted that she was in fact pregnant and had gotten pregnant before she had left for California which led to the local doctor laughing in his stethoscope because logistically she wasn’t yet 2 months pregnant. Then again when you’re looking for the lost daddy of your soon to be child taking anything on the low rung shelf will usually do the trick when push comes to shove. Assuming of course you don’t mind being pushed, which as we can see for ourselves Mr Terranova doesn’t care too much for.
Complicating matters for Mariah, Mr Terranova then had the audacity to opine that Mariah, his ex is just a delusional money grabbing fame whore who simply made up some ludicrous story about having 30 second sex with Justin Will Always Have More Money Than He Knows How To Be Hoodwinked Out Of Bieber.
Getting into the act was Mr Terranova’s pregnant teenage girlfriend (does anyone notice a trend here?) Lacy Jensen who then opined the following:
“She’s a golddigger and just wants someone to take care of her. She was a really big party animal who got around a lot. She was a big slut. She’s scandalous.”
A big slut who got around a lot? Who knew girlfriends of ex boyfriends could hold so much contempt for ex girlfriends. Not me in a million years.
But of course the story gets more juicy (yes teenagers live very exciting lives) when it’s revealed that our impending fame whore Mariah was arrested last December for battery after returning from California to find her double crossing boyfriend (and I thought that bixch was a good guy) now dating the much hotter Lacy Jensen.
Justin I Have No Idea How I Managed A Starring Role In This Redneck Adventure Bieber yesterday once again insisted he has never met Yeater before let alone sire her a son.
Of course if you really want a backdrop to the story that might help explain the maniacal teenage behavior the only clue that might help is the fact that everyone met at a local school in Las Vegas infamous for being the last vestige for undesirables who have already been kicked out of other schools- not that Lacy, John or Mariah are undesirable- they are after all highly entertaining and probably signing 7 figure deals right now with Amazon books to tell their side of the story to the silver screen.
Aren’t you lucky you aren’t a matinee teen idol with half of America’s teenagers fighting over the very air that you breathe?