Home Scandal and Gossip The NY Post Wants To Teach You How To Rent A ‘Prosti-dude’

The NY Post Wants To Teach You How To Rent A ‘Prosti-dude’


Spending the editor’s money on things he’d normally spend on himself.

From today’s NY Post comes the interesting expose of how to rent male prostitutes. In keeping with the post-salacious reputation for sleaze and grime, it found a way to convince one of its journalists to get on a plane and find her way to the emotionally inert Markus, who for a modest fee will meet, greet, inspect and ram you home.

The first thing the journalist reveals when it comes to the action man is the following:

“First thing we do is visual inspection,” explains the dorky college dropout, who later confesses I am only his second client, he has been with a total of six women in his life, and, to be perfectly honest, he lost his virginity at 23.”

Of course what he’s not telling her (well, in a round-a-bout way he is) is that he’s primarily into dudes, and this business with ramming girls is a little bit alienating for him cause it’s really guys he’d rather doing it with; but hey, rent money is rent money. And as another aside, when he says he lost his virginity at 23, does that count the 4008 times he lost his ass virginity before he turned 23?

Continues the drivel:

Over the next two hours, Markus shares his personal bits, too. Originally from Hatton, AL, he felt abandoned by his mother after his parents divorced when he was young. This is why, he says, he got into male prostitution, to find the intimacy that he lacked.

The intimacy he lacked? Does ass-intimacy just not cut it? If having a huge, muscular man wrapped around you isn’t intimate, I don’t know what is. Then again, we would have tried becoming friends with people before resorting to prostitution if we were looking for ‘intimacy.’

And there’s more…the anticlimax part, that is. Admitting she fails to have sex with Markus (which would only make the NY Post a ho), the following is revealed, and it is only then that our eternal tears, boys and girls, flow:

“I’m not a hooker,” he says repeatedly. “I’m a surrogate lover.”

Yes, MARKUS, you’re just a surrogate lover, just like the NY Post is a surrogate paper. If only she had slept with him, we’d respect them in the morning.

Source: NY Post