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Madonna would like to share with you new and never seen before photos of her hibernating in a dressing room. My boobies are def shrinking and other miseries…

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The chipmunks are now crying in their sleep. How a material girl destroyed my fantasies…

Kids cast a long mournful look on the princess called Madge. It’s as you can see quite the sight. In fact so mortified were the little chipmunks, Fyoder and Mazeltov that hung out in the back alley that the minute they returned for their hourly sip of my moonshine their little tails started nervously fluttering away and of course you can see why. Right?

But at least one thing is for sure, Madge has kept very far away from the plastic surgery guy (well nearly…) Here’s what eatbloganddie had to say about our collective hero as Steven Klein was getting Madge TV perfect for his soap opera photo shoot:

As frightening as these un-Photoshopped photos tend to be, it does reveal to those who swore Madonna had her body sliced, and diced, and put back together years ago, that she hasn’t actually touched a thing.  There’s no visible scars, except one minor one that you can see over her right breast.  No one would pay for those titties.  It’s nice to see an older woman in the entertainment biz who didn’t mess with her funbags, (even though she probably should).  People for years have been saying that she had them done.  These pix put those rumors to rest.  She definitely fucked with her face though.  All in all, it’s the music that counts, and until she starts fucking with that, Madonna’s face and body are going to be all that people talk about from now on.

One day when little children are required to salute and bow down as Madge sashays past their way me and the little chipmunks will be wondering if it was all worth it- the push ups, the 17 mile runs in her living room, the sauteed broccoli and the steamed onions rings- and from a vast boombox Madge will suddenly boom a conduit of our collective aspirations and that’s when all the violent tears will flood the back alley.

Madonna nude in dressing room
‘It all begins at 5 am in the morning when I take a mournful look in the mirror and reach for banana peels to wrap around the inside of my innards to keep them photogenic…’
madonna naked in dressing room
‘At approximately 6.15 am after I have run 43 miles in my living room and done a volley of Tae-Bo like sit ups I then momentarily reflect on that thing called my wig…’
Madonna nude in dressing room
‘By 7.10 am resigned to the fact that mankind has yet to invent a glue strong enough to keep my wig or ego in check I then reach for my rolodex where I check for my daily supply of 20 something hawt men.’
‘But after it’s all said and done I toss my wig and ego aside and realize – I’m just a material girl.’

 

FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER STEVEN KLEIN SET TO EXHIBIT IN SAO PAULO’S, BRAZIL’S MUSEUM OF SCULPTURE AUGUST 10, 2011.

MADONNA OPENS PRICY MEGA-GYM IN MEXICO CITY.

MADGE WANTS TO INTRODUCE TO YOU HER NEW BOY TOY BRAHIM RACHIKI.

ICE PICK CARRYING ‘STALKER’ ‘WON’T STOP TILL HE MEETS MADONNA’

AFTER DUMPING MADONNA, JESUS LUZ CELEBRATES BY PICKING UP HOT YOUNG GIRLS

MADONNA TELLS US WHY SHE DOESN’T DATE MEN HER AGE.

FANTASTIC MODEL OF THE WEEK- JESUS LUZ.

MADONNA SHOCKS US WITH HER SUPER SKINNY BODY AND BULGING MUSCLES.

JESUS LUZ: “JUSTIFY MY PAY PACKET.”

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  • Mary

    EATBLOGANDDIE
    Are you fucking crazy, how can you? How can you be soooooooooooooo
    disrespectful AND STUPID and I am not a fan ( I lke her but as an old woman I can just be balanced and like good things in life and artists) but I like to be in between the lines of decency and respect.

    Since you are so idiot and NOT EVEN NOTICED THAT THE SCAR THAT MADONA HAS, IS A CANCER SCAR, HOW CAN YOU BE SO IDIOT, STUPID AND BEYOND CRUEL.

    HOW ABOUT YOU HAVE ONE, THOUSANDS OF THEM, CANCER

    Because I am a journalist but I know the difference between a story, a joke, a satir, a crazy comment and a totally out of place comment and total disrespect.

    YOU DON’T JOKE WITH THINGS LIKE THIS AND PLUS SHE SHOULD SUE YOU BECAUSE ACTUALLY EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN UNDER HER PRIVACY, WHO GAVE YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT

  • gianni

    Jesus, guys, do you realize that when these pics were taken the woman was already 50???!!! How many women look that way at 50??!! Ok, she has definitely fucked with her face and that was a huge, huge mistake, cuz in a way she is no longer Madonna (look at some pics even from 2005 0r 2006 and you’ll see how different her face looks now!) but, my God, her body is AMAZINGLY toned and look at how elastic her skin is, and those breasts!! Guys, she had two children and, once again, she was 50 when the photos were taken. I defy anyone to be photographed sitting on a couch in a relaxed way way and not posing, and I wanna see how many people will look the way she does!
    And that is the result of being a machine, that is to say, of having an iron will. You can have all the money in theworld but if you don’t have the ability to make sacrifices EVERY day and be incredibily disciplined NO MATTER WHAT, well, you are not going to get the results she got! Then, sure, she has a humongous ego and does NOT seem to have a sense of humor… But that’s another story… 🙂

  • višnja

    izgleda ogavno, staro i potrošeno…

  • madgefudger

    OK, is it just me, or those boobs are really something, and that body is just really toned? I don’t get what the blogger says about her boobs. they are awesome.

  • Darolo

    In 2008 when these pics were taken M was still on the first part of a gruelling world tour. As if that’s not enough to make her lose weight doing 3 if not 4 shows a week, sometimes more, she did it all whilst knowing sge was probably going to go through a painful divorce. Most people would have given up long before the finish line!! That some scum bag leaks private shots of her relaxing after probably another exhausting day, frankly I find obnoxious. Still at the end of the day Madonna will always be there. They can knock her as hard as they like but as Madonna once said of herself “I’m like a cockroach, you can’t get rid of me”!
    We love you Madonna whatever!

  • ivyleaguer

    She looks great, I see what they were going for with the whole at home unglamorous feel to the photos and concept. Her body looks great, very muscular, but she is too pale…the sun ruins the skins but some skin bronzer or body makeup is good when taking a photo shoot like this.