Should you end your marriage? How to save a fractured relationship and steps you can take to give your love relationship with your spouse a fighting chance.
No romantic movie or novel can ever match the happiness of finding the love of your life. Everything from the courtship to the engagement to the wedding is like living in a fairytale. However, not all love stories and fairy tale romances end in a happily ever after. And even the perfect couple tends to fade out and consider calling off their marriage.
While there is no point in staying in a marriage where you are not happy or compatible, there are a few things you need to consider before getting a divorce.
1. Find Professional Help
A divorce case could go on for several years if you do not have the right help. So, make sure you always hire an experienced divorce lawyer to take up your case. They will help you with the divorce process and help you cope with the divorce and the pain from it. Hiring a bad lawyer could make this a traumatic experience. And might endlessly delay the process that could have been resolved if the two of you sat across a table and spoke.
2. Go For Counseling
This is advice that your lawyer might suggest too. In most cases, couples decide on a divorce without talking out the issues or discussing the consequences. It would help if you invest in a family therapist or a counseling session to talk out your issues. Getting professional help before calling it quits on your relationship could save you a lot of time, money, and prevent trauma.
3. Identify the Issues
Most couples commit the mistake of not discussing what is bothering them, making them drift apart. The hours of silence turn into days, weeks, and months before the duo decides to part ways. And then comes the decision to file for a divorce. However, most couples and therapists would agree that many divorces are avoidable if people talk about their issues rather than suffering in silence or being passive-aggressive.
4. Increase Communication
Once you are aware of what is bothering you, make it a point to communicate the same with your partner. Remember that the aim is to save the relationship and not to one-up the other person. Listen to your partner without getting defensive. It would help talk about your truth and hear your partner’s truth, rather than blaming the other person. Once you start talking, you could chalk out a plan on how to fix the issues.
5. Work On Yourself
This is the most challenging part of making any relationship work. It is easy to believe that we are perfect and need not change while others are full of flaws. However, that is far from the truth as everyone has their flaws. A successful relationship is one where we are willing to alter our behavior and habits to make the relationship work.
6. Demonstrate Ideal Behavior
One great way to make a positive change in your relationship is by modeling ideal behavior. That way, your partner would understand what you mean when you want them to change and would be more likely to take a step in the right direction.
For instance, if your partner is not a hands-on parent, instead of turning this into an argument, assist them with a chore they do at home and ask them to help you with the child. It would help you avoid a fight and let your partner see things from your perspective.
Remind yourself of the efforts you put in at the start of the relationship and see if the two of you can do that again to make things work. However, if nothing seems to work, you can always apply for a divorce.