Home Scandal and Gossip Pippa Middleton hates the Royal family but manages to now go boar...

Pippa Middleton hates the Royal family but manages to now go boar hunting after book flop.

Pippa Middleton
Pippa Middleton is also a preferred hawt bixch...
Pippa Middleton
Pippa Middleton is also a preferred hawt bixch…

Never mind Pippa. You are bound to eventually find a rich handsome man to save us yourself from yourself.

In the newest chapter to my sister is a princess and I am not but somehow I’ll try anyway Pippa Middleton reveals that she is somewhat flabbergasted by the royal family who have ostensibly ruined all her fun by being party poopers. But apparently what’s also pissing her off is the fact that she’s failed in becoming a fancy writer at large (don’t worry Pippa, so have I, or maybe not?) and the fact that her upcoming book on how to make ice cubes and blow air into balloons for kiddies has been axed on account of her book on how to make vodka ice cubes, blow sexy balloons and how to wear party dresses for adults flopped.

All of which has got Pippa in some bother as she now finds herself unemployed after having left her semi respectable plush job as an events manager for upwardly mobile Britons.

Explains a source to the UK’s dailymail for us: “This is hugely disappointing for Pippa as it leaves her effectively forced to choose between her career and her family…. She is becoming increasingly frustrated and angry that her reputation and livelihood is being affected by the constraints of royal life – especially as she is not a royal herself. In truth, she has had enough of it. She’s not a member of the royal family and is completely fed-up with having nearly every aspect of her life controlled just because her sister happened to marry into the royal family. She feels trapped like a caged animal and it really is getting her down. She says it has to change.”

Hmm, sounds like Pippa got the raw end of the stick. Surely sister Kate can secure more regular passage of an odd castle here or there that no one uses anymore? Perhaps she can give tours on Sunday afternoons after the weekend’s excesses wear off to over excited tourists. Or maybe not. But let’s be honest Pippa, you rode the royal gravy train for a while and unfortunately you’ve come to realize there’s no free ride on that gilded express ride. Not for you, your sister or any other royal who is held hostage to the public and the odd tempestuous tabloid writer who likes to keep tabs on you.

Nevertheless there is some relief in sight for Pippa who somehow has managed to figure a way to explore her suddenly monotonous existence as a royal hanger on.

Insiders say Pippa is pals with boar-hunting tycoons Cedric Frere and his brother William.

“Pippa’s prioritizing finding the perfect man,” a source told the UK’s Grazia magazine.

“She’s undeniably skilled at engineering her way into the right circles, and these Belgian boys are another example of her skills. She’s having a ball!”

Last word on our Pippa is she’s managed to ransack herself a perfect getaway hunting wild beasts/boars with her new paramour(?) whilst you and I continue walking into the abyss of our existence wondering how we’ll ever manage to get on with things should we ever capitulate in our dowdy 40 55 hour work week. Assuming you’re still privileged to even have access to one….

above image found here