Home Scandal and Gossip Johnny Depp is still America’s preferred wet dream and then some.

Johnny Depp is still America’s preferred wet dream and then some.

Christopher Koulouris: About author bio at bottom of article.
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'I on the other hand have been waiting for this moment all my life, ever since I was a 6 year old girl ogling Johnny when he was a teenage heart throb on 21 Jump st....'
'I am the eternal hawt bixch.'

Kids, I have taken to flossing my eyeballs out this morning. Why? Because the god called Apollo, the lover of life and exceptional brooding good looks made me wake up and look at Johnny Depp gazing deep into never ever land with the insouciant gaze of a male bixch who knows this is his time and payday is everyday.

There to honor his presence for last night’s premiere of ‘Rum Diary, in the furnace of wet dreams, Hollywood, our hero stood tall and firm, his floppy hair parted in that oh so nonchalant way, his Mafia tinted glasses glinting at the hungry paparazzo counting money buckets as the camera went into overwhelm mode. Just another day in Hollywood you think, but just tell that to Johnny who secretly licks the lid of media whoredom with the studied veneer of a middle aged woman ogling a 21 year old body surfer.

That said without further ado, let’s all pull down the bedroom sheets and dream a dandy song as we succulently gaze over the visage of Johnny, his co stars, Blake Johanasson, Amber Heard and his perfectly floppy hair…

'The trick to being a movie star is to nonchalantly effect gooey eye three quarter angles like this one...'
'And of course if you really want to make a splash a mesmerizing front at sudden contemplation...'
'But even then sometimes there are some inconvenient instances to deal with- like that horrible ugly fat cow behind me who is ruining this photo op....'
'Not to be outdone by Johnny, my co-star I too put in my 3 cents of media whore posing, but as you can see without my used 3 piece suit and tinted glasses I am hardly a match for that bixch Johnny...'
'I on the other hand have been waiting for this moment all my life, ever since I was a 6 year old girl ogling Johnny when he was a teenage heart throb on 21 Jump st....'

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3 COMMENTS

  1. he looks okay, that’s his original look still lingering on him its good to see he still has it, if you remember back 20+years that’s his hair do straight but rough LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

  3. YEAH..Johnny Depp is GORGEOUS!! The only thing…the hair,please Johnny the straight hair looks better on you.Love ,too much love for you

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