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What do you think of this sign?

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Don’t tell us how to dress, tell men not to rape.


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42 COMMENTS

  1. It annoys me. There is no excuse for rape at all, period. It is a violation of a persons freedom and sexuality which leaves an emptiness you cannot imagine. However, there is under-representation of human biology and male rape cases in this ‘Slutwalk’ movement. Ignoring the facts doesn’t progress the movement, and responding with anger undermines any movement made, be it justified or not. I understand not everyone is prepared to debate on a purely logical manner because of the emotional ties to the subject. However, it’s further pushing hatred on both sides of the fence when we’re trying to remove something negative from society. Just look at the internets opinions of feminism, and the refusal of many celebrities to identify with the label.

  2. Wishing for a perfect world will not make it so. A person must protect themselves from any percieved dangers in any way they can.

  3. Rape is an act of violence, power and opportunity. Clothes don’t matter. If they did, there would be no rape of little children, old ladies, female soldiers/cops/firefighters, women covered head-to-toe in burqas, etc.

    Little old ladies wearing flannel nighties have been raped in their own beds. Little girls walking to/from school have been kidnapped and assaulted. Think about Jaycee Dugard–she was just waiting for the school bus. Was she asking for it?

    Back in the 1980s, there was a case in Florida where a man was staking out a convenience store for victims. He had raped like a dozen women before he got caught after attacking a girl on the way to a party. But the judge actually made the case FOR THE MAN that the girl, in her party dress, had “tempted” the man with her outfit. Never mind that he had also raped women in “mom jeans”, maid’s uniforms and sweats. It was that girl’s fault was dressing up for a party. Luckily, he was convicted–but not for her rape. It took one of the “non-attractive” women to get him into jail. The pretty girl’s case resorted in only a non-sexual assault conviction.

    People, male and female, should not have to fear rape under any circumstances. In an ideal world, we should be able to walk around buck naked without fear. But there will always be jerks out there who will come up with some DEMENTED reason for harming another. Sad…

  4. I agree with honestly. I doesn’t matter what clothing a person is wearing, if they think you are vunerable and weak, you’ll be easy prey. Children have been raped. Elderly people have been raped. The rapist is a coward, who can’t get control of their life in other ways, so for some reason they lash out using rape. To defend that behavior and make excuses is pointless. It damages the victims of rape and it damages society, because it will never get better if people ignore the rapists real motives and blame the victims and their clothing choices.

  5. Yes! You couldn’t put this statement any better “Don’t tell us how to dress, tell men not to rape!” Amen to that!!!

  6. I am a man, and I wholeheartedly agree. When we participate in victim blaming and are complacent parts of rape culture we are unwitting aids in sexual violence.

    Also, claims of reverse sexism are annoying. While I do think it is important to dispel the myth that only men rape in order to combat sexual violence in queer community, hold perpetrators accountable and to encourage male survivors (of which I am one) to come forward and engage with support systems, charges of reverse sexism only serve to derail the conversation and pull attention away from the immence amount of privilage that men hold and the staggaring amount of complicity with rape culture that is seen in the mainstream.
    While it is true that there might be some incedental cases of bias against men, they DO NOT create anything close to the systematic oppression that women face. We have a ton of privilage and a ton of work to do guys, get over it.

  7. 1 out of 5 women in North America are sexually assaulted at least once. That means you definitely know someone who was raped or wronged and that was likely by a man.

    What’s even scarier is the amount of women who actually report rape and harassment. Not even half will make a report!!! This is because women are made to feel blame, they are emotional, and raised to feel ashamed of their bodies. They are made to feel guilty by their attacker or by society for being “sexual beings” to begin with. Maybe I deserved it? Maybe I lead him on in some way?…

    IT DOESN’T MATTER. SEX IS SOMETHING AGREED APON. IF SOMEONE TAKES IT FROM YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT IT IS RAPE, PERVERTED AND EVIL. if you have been wronged tell someone, they will listen and help you.

  8. Many people are missing the POINT of this sign. The point is that it would be so much more effective to be telling men not to rape instead of telling women how to dress. Lets say you could force every women in the world to be fully covered-rape would still exist. However, if you could stop every man from raping….we wouldn’t be so worried about women’s clothing now would we?
    Women who dress provocatively do attract negative attention. It happens. It’s called the first amendment, women can dress as they chose, and men can say the slimiest creepiest stuff in the world to those women. That does not give those men the right to rape these women however.
    Married women are raped by their husbands on a daily basis. It does not matter what they wear. Prostitutes are raped on a daily basis. it does not matter what they wear. In both of these cases the victims are often blamed because of their lifestyles. IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT THE WOMAN CHOSES TO DO/WEAR/SAY/SPEND TIME WITH. IT IS STILL A CRIME. People will forever make whatever excuses they want. It is always wrong. It’s called evil. There is no way around it. Perhaps that women has to deal with creepy/vulgar rhetoric if she dresses provocatively. She should not have to deal with rape.

  9. Ok, people, as a victim of sexual abuse, I would like to point something out. It really isn’t about the clothes. Quite simply, it is about whether or not he feels more powerful than you. If you’re wearing not much with confidence and keep your head up, while staying in a group and not being in the isolated parts of town alone, you probably won’t great raped. If you’re wearing a turtleneck and pants, but are not confident, or are alone at night in an isolated area, there’s a better chance you might get raped. Rapists aren’t ‘turned on;” it isn’t about controlling “animal urges.” It’s about power: does he/she feel that she/he can control you and feel dominant? Coming from someone who was abused as a toddler, it really isn’t the “slutty” clothes. Those attract comments and offers of sex, not rapes necessarily. Can they sometimes? Perhaps. But it’s usually the keeping the eyes on the ground and looking around nervously that turns the rapist on.

  10. I got raped wearing a long, loose flowing black dress with a long sleeved black top underneath it, a black cardigan over it, thick black tights and black shoes with no heel (I was at a funeral reception). Some women get raped wearing niqab. Other women get raped when they are lying naked in their beds. Why should women bother editing their sluttier outfits when there is absolutely NO guarantee that it will protect them from being raped? Why should I give the mini skirt a miss when I already know FOR SURE that covering up will NOT protect me from being raped?

  11. On average, the women who get raped are not the ones who are dressed in a provocative way. So what about the women dressed smartly and conservatively who get raped? Who will you blame then? Were they walking in a neighborhood they shouldn’t have? Don’t blame the victims.

  12. I disagree with number 2 above. I do believe that the feminist ideal would be a world in which women are in no more danger when walking alone than men are. That’s not to say that walking alone in bad neighborhoods is a good idea for anyone, but women SHOULD NOT be afraid to go to parties with male friends because of the threat of sexual assault (remember that most rapes are committed by someone the woman knows).

  13. I think there is a lot of logic being overlooked here. It’s really very simple
    1) Men are humans, they can decide between right and wrong, and control themselves. If a man rapes a woman, in no way, shape, or form does it make any sense to blame it on what clothes she was wearing. At that point, he made a choice, he did something wrong, it doesn’t matter if she walked by him naked, HE MADE THE CHOICE TO RAPE HER.

    2) That being said, I am so sick of women putting on slutty clothing and then complaining when they are seen in a certain light. The notion that you shouldn’t be judged on how you dress is ridiculous, because you’re the one who made the choice to put those clothes on, you did it for a reason, and that reason is a part of you. So actually yes, people should judge you on the way you dress. Women who don’t want sexual attention from men shouldn’t expose their bodies through their clothing, simple as that. No one cries outrage when they suggest walking in groups to women, because yes, if you’re walking alone that still doesn’t give someone the right to rape you, but WHY WOULD YOU BE WALKING ALONE AT NIGHT?! No one says, “Hey I’m a woman! I should be able to walk alone at any time I want! Freedom for women!” And yet, suggesting more modest clothing is so out of line. Come on.

  14. My parents didn’t need to tell me not to rape. They told me, “If it’s not yours, don’t touch it.” I was able to extrapolate from there.

  15. If you WANT to wear a bikini in February, in CANADA, will you blame the winter when you get frostbite?

  16. I don’t recognize that there are some women who have been raped by other women. Nor do I care to challenge my heteronormative view of the world. Nor do I care how a sign like this might be triggering to a woman who was raped by another woman as it renders her abuse either not rape or unimportant to the discourse regarding rape.

    I’m proud of making the world a bit more hostile to rape victims.

  17. As a rape victim myself, I think that how you dress could VERY MUCH get you raped. And the truth is that the world isn’t going to get any better, so women should cover up anyway. Besides, why do some women believe that it’s okay to dress like a streetwalker if they don’t want to be mistaken for one? Men rape women who appear vulnerable, women who look easy. They’re intelligent people, most of them. Before they act they think it through: Would she give in easily? Since she looks like she does, it probably means she sleeps around; who would believe that she got raped?

    Honestly, a woman’s looks have a lot to do with how she’s treated and who looks at her with bad intentions. Keep this in mind when you’re dressing for a party or club outing. The more skin you show, the more empty-minded that you act, the more likely it is that something very bad could happen.

  18. I have always said that there are places women should not go dressed a certain way without feeling at least slightly in danger. also my biggest problem (and the highest number of 20 something rape victims) are the women who dress “slutty” go to a bar and slam drinks with a guy while flirting and leading him on to keep the free booze flowing. They send the message that this is definitely heading a certain way while simultaneously getting the man drunk and clouding his judgement/lowering his ability to control himself. Then they say they have no idea how things ended up like they did when he takes it too far… are free drinks REALLY worth your safety? Is it a good idea to go into a black neighborhood in a klan robe? Would you wonder why your clothes are attracting the wrong attention? Why go to a frat party (where the reputation for sexual assault exists) dressed in tiny bits of clothing and then wonder why the guy who you followed to a secluded room didn’t stop when you wanted to? Yes self control is a good thing… so is common sense.

  19. Um, since when is voicing your opinions or concerns about a serious issue like rape dumb?? I don’t know where you’re from ass wipe, but in this country, freedom of speech is something we take pride in…excuse me, let me rephrase: FREEDOM is something we take pride in. You can laugh and joke all you want, but odds are that where ever you’re from, crimes like this happen twice as much as they do here. Maybe if you all took a look around, stopped worrying about us and how we address these issues, you’d realize that these things are happening right in front and all around you and these issues are universal. Millions of men, women, and children are abused sexually and physically everyday. And often times, these victims suffer long term affects because no one has the courage to speak up for them. Rape is becoming more and more common because people joke about it constantly and don’t take it seriously.

    So just think about this the next time you’re walking alone down a dark street…..no matter what your sex, size, sexual orientation, what clothes you’re wearing, where you are in the world, or what nationality you are…there is always a possibility that there is someone bigger and stronger that can overpower and take advantage of you. It can happen to you too. So please…tell me…would it still be funny then?

    Oh and one more thing, before you go and post a comment on a public website where intelligent people can see and respond…maybe you should learn how to speak english correctly you ignorant jerk.

  20. Unless explicitly stated like the douchebag officer, I meant it in more its just advise that could potentially help not attract rapist attentions. But if a rape occurs then the clothing does not matter I agree, she should be able to walk naked (barring public nudity) if she wants without fears of being sexually assaulted. Its just a thing to think about as a preemptive move, like traveling in groups. It’s not a excuse for rape of course, that is asinine and sick. People have control over their own urges (even while ogling naked or nearly women/men) and if not then they need help not to be set free to lose control over themselves and hurt someone again.

  21. This rally was protest of a particular police officer’s remarks about what a victim was wearing. Rape victims are not generally dressed like sluts. However, their clothing is almost always brought up during the investigation or trial as if they were “asking for it”. I’ve heard of victim-blaming in which the women’s clothes were too tight (She must have helped remove her skinny jeans.), too loose (easy access, easy to remove) too low-cut, high-cut, figure-hugging or even skimpy when skimpy is appropriate (bikini while at the beach). The truth is, women get raped wearing all kinds of clothing. Many times rape victims are dressed in jeans and t-shirt.

    THAT is what is being protested. Everyone knows that dressing sexy will get you male attention and it is somewhat unreasonable for immodestly dressed women to bemoan that attention. However, getting hit on, asked out, flirted with and catcalled at is not rape. Some women DO dress provocatively to get male attention (or more often, one particular guy’s attention) but that doesn’t mean she’s fair game for whoever can slip her roofies first.

  22. It would only be blaming the victim if we found a rape case where the victim was wearing provocative clothes and everyone let the case go because of that. Giving the advise of trying to dress down and modestly to maybe derail unwanted attention is not without its merits or worth a try. You cannot say that those kinds of clothing do not attract any attention and while that attention is giving then the asshole could perceive his object of attention’s weaknesses, if he doesn’t notice you to begin with cause his eyes are elsewhere you could increase your chances of coming home safer. Taking offense and telling people they should die or hang themselves over their comments misled or not is not a way to spread understanding either. Most everyone knows rape is bad unless they are just trolling, mean or sociopathic. Which if it is the case even more education and the call to tell men to stop raping will be as effective as demanding women cover up more.

  23. Ill dress however I damn well please. If I want to dress like a complete skank, I might recieve negative or objectifying attention, but it is NOT permission to rape me just because I choose to dress provocatively. I refuse to edit my clothing tastes because some animal cant control his “manly urges” when he catches a glimpse of the girls.There is a huge difference between being hit on by creeps because you are immodestly dressed and being dragged into a back alley by a stone cold criminal. BLAME THE PERPETRATOR, NOT THE VICTIM!!!!! Anyone who disagrees should just take a walk to Home Depot, find the longest rope and create their own solution. Im talking to you, regular guy.

  24. Sadly, 2 reasons why rapists rape. 1-they want to 2-they can. To protect yourself you can either rely on society to 1-educate or dissuade rapists not to want to rape you or 2-protect you. Or you can rely on yourself by 1-making sure you do not attract rapists 2-making sure you can kick their asses.
    I prefer not to take my chances and my strategy is to 1-Dress well and not attract unwanted attention 2-learn self-defense and always travel in groups.

  25. the main thing isnt how a woman dresses, its if the perpetrator feels she is weaker than him. perpetrators go after people they see as inferior, stupid, and less powerful than them. So wear you slut gear, just demand respect, don’t take shit, and be smart.

  26. My name is Pete. I don’t grasp the concept that while there are rapes performed by women, that is not the focus nor purpose of this particular event. Furthermore, I am obtuse I don’t understand that occasionally, women want to talk about the things that affect women, without having to make sure men feel included. I don’t realise that as a man, I do not need to be involved in EVERYTHING and own EVERYTHING simply because I have a penis. My condescending tone is exactly reflective of the patriarchy I want to perpetuate.

    My name is Pete. And I am a douchebag.

  27. This sign assumes that men are the only ones who rape wich is ironically sexist. Their heart was in the right place though.

  28. Rape has nothing to do with how the victim dresses. Statistics have shown this. Instead of saying that it’s unlikely we will ever live in a world where people don’t get raped, how about we try to change things?

  29. The second half of the sign is absolutely correct we should tell men not to rape. But as far as how to dress… I don’t walk around with my cock hanging out because I don’t want just anyone to look at or touch it. Perhaps some modesty would go a long way. No one deserves to be raped or have harassing sexual advances forced upon her, but if you’re out in public and are practically naked try and think what kind of attention you’re attracting. If your out at the bar and are wearing a short skirt with no panties and a low cut baby t and cant understand why all these “creepy” guys are all over you, think harder.

  30. While I agree that it is unlikely that we’ll live in a world where people do not get raped, Frustrated, I also feel that it is completely out of line to blame the victim.

    Stop blaming the victim and blame the perpetrator.

  31. I find this sign frustrating. While men should not rape, it is unlikely that we will ever live in a world where it never happens. Is wearing a slutty outfit worth increasing your risk of getting raped? If it is, you need to rethink your priorities.

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