Landing, cursing over the intercom speaker, deploying the emergency chute before making a get away escape.
It’s been an odd start to traditionally one of the slowest months of the year. Barely a mention of Lindsay Lohan in the mainstream press, a so so story about Laurence Fishburne’s daughter apparently being arrested for prostitution a year ago (that on top of her sex tape) and now this the fantastic adventures of the disgruntled Bluejets airline stewart – Steven Slater who decided he would do us all a favor and entertain us in the dead of August.
NY Post:A crazed JetBlue flight attendant who lost his cool after a flight from Pittsburgh landed at JFK Airport today hurled obscenities at passengers over the airliner’s public address system and then deployed the emergency chute to make a dramatic escape.
Steven Slater, the attendant-turned-wingnut, dashed from the tarmac to his silver Jeep Wrangler parked in an employee lot and raced home to Belle Harbor, where he was arrested by Port Authority cops.
Could you imagine being inside that plane as our hero Steven went off the deep end. Him tearing his heart apart, frantically looking at each and every passenger’s eyes, pleading them to understand the horror of his existence, the horrible injustice that must have just happened somewhere in either Steven’s cuckoed mind or in the bursary where he and another flight attendant where probably comparing finger nail polish and then Steven finally tossing aside his apron, hurling abuses over the intercom, forcing the emergency chute to open, him running out, you watching in disbelief from your bird’s eye window, you wondering if there’s a fire his set in one of the toilets, Steven sticking his finger at you as he drives off in his parked Jeep and him being promptly arrested by authorities by the time he makes it to the first place even the idiot in front of you coughing all the way through the flight said he’d go to- his home.
Huffington Post: Slater was working on JetBlue Flight 1052 from Pittsburgh when he got into an argument with the passenger, who was pulling down baggage from an overhead bin, the Port Authority said. The luggage apparently struck the attendant in the head and he asked for an apology, but the passenger refused, the agency said.
Which makes us wonder- what set Steven Slater off? Really Steven, what pissed you off that much? Did them wenches not make enough eye contact with you, was it a bumpy flight, that some idiot refused to say sorry to you thus shocking your moral superiority, was it that time of month or was it simply something you’ve been waiting to do all these years…?
“To the f—-ing ass—- that told me to f— off, it’s been a good 28 years!” Slater bellowed, according to law enforcement sources.