Home Pop Culture The double standard of women…

The double standard of women…

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Men as hunters?

The fact that there are always men out there who are all too willing to pay their way into a woman’s pants goes a long way against those of us who are in the business of charming our way into their pants. A horrid fact that most women take advantage of and unfortunately ill advised use of  barometer in judging his affections for her. They never quite understand a man’s capacity to pay for her doesn’t often equate to his ability to honor and love her, but a cursory look at any billboard will quickly dispel that idea- because in our society a man’s worth is measured by his ability to afford to acquire things, and those things also often include ‘acquiring women.’

Which brings me to the idea that men are also culpable and aggrieved in their relations with women. Often trading up for the next model, hot thing that they can have access to, never mind the fact that he just told her he loves her and desires her. It’s a double standard that every woman is aware of and to be sure they are on guard and hustle to stay looking as good as possible to ward of possible female contenders. Hustles to maintain her appearances, as opposed to her good deeds because she understands this is what men value and willingly seek. If one examines it creates a horrid vacuum where only super models and tycoons are only ever allowed to go out with each other- a situation that is often quite the case.

Call it human dynamics, approximation of social settings, the opposite sexes making brutal calculations for what they can get away with it does leave us with a horrendous dilemma- will we ever love each other for whom we really are as opposed to what society has come to expect of us appropriate and valid behavior? To all of you seeing affections, I would be eager to hear your point of view, but for the time being I am just going to charm the pants of you, and if I happen to look at another woman while I am wooing you, I’ll just blame it on my prehistoric genes, the way some of you look the other way when the bill arrives. Let’s hope we see the humanity in each other and the tenderness that we ultimately seek- social status and evolutionary instincts aside.

Dating in the recession, has left a hole in my stomach.

Payola- How Women play Men.

Why Some Vixens Screw their way around the Globe.

CAUGHT BETWEEN A COCK AND A HARD PLACE. “A Modern New York City Girl’s Dilemma”

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11 COMMENTS

  1. “The same is true for many large entities and we have quite a few women in congress and 2 in the Supreme Court. I do not think your argument that women are still looked down upon in society holds water.”

    There are three women in the Supreme Court. The fact that you tried to cite the Supreme Court as evidence of women not being looked down on, but managed to completely leave one of the three out is incredibly humorous.

  2. # Leslie: “Look around most offices and see which jobs the women are working compared to the men.”
    ok lets take the College I work at for a sample.At the campus I work at: the campus president, all four deans and their assistant deans, the directors of facility management, campus support services, and custodial services, and roughly half the departments, as the head of HR are all women. mind you, this is Miami Dade College – the largest junior college in America. The same is true for many large entities and we have quite a few women in congress and 2 in the Supreme Court. I do not think your argument that women are still looked down upon in society holds water.

    “What you spent on her dinner, she will more than make up for in makeup and clothes compared to what you spend.”
    What she chooses to wear is not my issue nor is it my responsibility and it certainly does not mean I should foot the bill. Also, given the contemporary standard for masculine hygiene and beauty, this is not really true. For one, most men must now either shave or wax most or all body hair to meet modern standards. As men have more hair, we will spend more money on wax/razors. Nice clothing for men is just as expensive as women’s clothing (you have purses and jewelry while we have watches, ties, and also jewelry). Men also get manicures (just not colored polish). We also have to spend more time in the gym to look appealing (so exorbitant gym fees). Your argument assumes that the woman is dolled up in Chanel and Gucci while the guy is in levies and a shirt he got at Ross.

    “the person who suggests it, is expected to pay”
    No, you should pay for what you bought unless I offer to treat you – and vice versa. If I take you to Olive Garden, that does not mean you get to order the top shelf wine and the most expensive meal with appetizers while I only buy a bowl of pasta and a beer and then expect me to foot the bill unless we agreed with that.

    @ Solomon: The point of this article is to call out the inherent hypocrisy involved in the dating world and society at large as opposed to getting dating tips. If I want to pay for sex, I’ll get a hooker. At least then I can ask for what I want up front and generally be guaranteed to get it and I can dispense with the mind games and the bs. I’m not dating a hooker; I am trying to meet another human being and start a relationship. If I’m expected to pay for everything then I should also get what I want when I want it.

    @ Michael: I agree with everything you just said

    In closing, either you women accept equality entirely – with both the benefits and the responsibilities – or you accept a more traditional inter gender relationship where you are not responsible for working or paying for anything but you also must be obedient to your men and accept your status as something less than free and adult. Either you are truly our equals and get all the rights and responsibilities (equal pay but equal expectation to pay for things and the right to vote but equal reaction and outcome in social settings and family courts) or you can do things the Saudi way: you don’t pay for anything or lift a finger bt you shut up when me are speaking and do as you’re told. Your choice. Freedom and equality or protection and subservience, you cant have both

  3. More fool you for paying, mate.
    The physicist Richard Feinman published an essay entitled “You Just Ask Them” in which he describes being taught never to pay for anything until the woman has put out for you. Against his instincts, he experiments and finds the advice to be solid.
    There is also an essay by Paul Elam who found himself in a similar situation and the woman had to call a friend to pay her share of the bill since she had not even taken any money with her.
    The woman in question here will not respect you for paying.
    I suggest you try bluntly saying something like “I thought you believed in equality”, “Why should I pay? You’re not a prostitute are you?” or some such like. You may find that instead of harming your relationships, you will get more respect.
    I wish you luck in trying a new tack if you choose to.
    Mike Steane, author of Rape of the Male Mind available on Amazon Kindle

  4. @ Binky why would the person who suggests the lunch pay for it. Thats just a clever way of saying ‘the man should almost always pay for it’. Because in our society the burden of making moves towards a relationship still lies mostly with the man.

  5. It’s true that many women are stunningly beautiful (they spend a huge amount of time and money on their looks after all) and expect to be pampered with attention, drinks, and the rest; it’s ironic that the only way to register on their scale is to openly ignore their assets, tease them about their looks and insist that they buy YOU the drink (all whilst secretly adoring them).

    La vie est bizzarre!

  6. ‘Stop focusing on all the annoying contradictions and hypocrisies. I think you’re hiding some insecurity behind a mouthful of words.’

    Thanks for bringing a smile to my face Solomon.

  7. You have to change your paradigm, man. Biological evolution has not caught up to social evolution. Therefore, you, THE MAN, are the HUNTER. Get used to it and learn the rules or be miserable. A woman should EARN (in terms of demonstrating good qualities, not just being pretty) you spending money on her or else she will just assume you’re a sucker like so many others. It’s not her job to teach you.

    If you’re going to meet a woman for a first date, suggest nothing more expensive than drinks, but preferably invite her to come along to something you are already doing. For example, tell her that you’re searching for the perfect peanut butter and she should come along to help you find it! If it goes well, you follow that excursion with a sandwich-making date (yes, that night, if possible). If not, you shelled out for a gourmet peanut butter you’re going to use anyway and maybe an interesting story. Stop focusing on all the annoying contradictions and hypocrisies. I think you’re hiding some insecurity behind a mouthful of words.

  8. Hi Scallywag,
    unfortunately many women feel entitled like the dismal comment by the sad Leslie above shows. Do you really think that men are ONLY into looks, and if you wear a pretty dress and an empty smile you can get away with the lack of all the rest? Poor soul. Just go on dating UES/WS investment banksters, they will appreciate for what you are.

    I used to pay for dinners and was regularly getting screwed with humongous bills and the sensation I did not really want to see the gold-digger again, or that I was essentially paying for sex. Men are naturally inclined to be generous and chivalrous with the ladies who deserve it, not the ones who just feel that they got a short end of the stick for being female, and want to get even with the male gender by exploiting it financially and emotionally.

  9. Men and women are still not equal despite how it may seem.

    While they lines are starting to merge there is still a long way to go. What you spent on her dinner, she will more than make up for in makeup and clothes compared to what you spend.

    Women still make 10-20% less and it costs them 10-20% more to survive. They still are talked down to and ignored as well. In most relationships, even if the woman works, she is still expected to keep up the housework and take care of the kids and cook. Look around most offices and see which jobs the women are working compared to the men.

    Equal? Not yet.

    Binky is correct though, the person who suggests it, is expected to pay.

  10. NOW this is the kind of earnest piece that needed to be written and it is all so true I must admit. Nevertheless, what I have learned and finally experienced as I have gotten older is finally being in the exact opposite position which is on the receiving end of a woman’s generosity which made me feel a tad uncomfortable and self conscious. At least until she said, “you know, you have done so many things for me, including footing the bill and I have too often been on the receiving end of men feeling obliged to pay, but I am quite comfortable and would enjoy your simply relaxing and being paid for.” This is a woman who having recognized her financial stature in civilized society is higher than mine and having been on the receiving end of generosity from me and others, insisted on inviting and taking me out. No offense to the Countess LuAnn de Lesseps who insists her role is to always be on the receiving end of other people paying for her, but there is a culture of strong, truly independent and generous females who exhibit rather uniquely the ability to leave more on the table than they take. And I have to admit, those kinds of women likely will be recipients of greater male generosity for when a man feels less like a wallet regardless of whether he can provide Caviar Dreams or sustains himself on Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwiches, he truly wants to find a way to be generous with that sort of lady.They do exist, even in NYC and some of them are Mensa level intelligent and as feline as the hottest looking cat you will see anywhere on the planet. God bless em.

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