Home Scandal and Gossip The Dow Jones Index throws up on itself.

The Dow Jones Index throws up on itself.


World markets tumble as the world suddenly works out that it’s all a fabrication.

You might want to have a look out your window today just to make sure there are no stock traders whizzing ungraciously to the bottom of the earth. Why?

Cnnfn reports:

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — Stocks selloff sharply Thursday, extending the recent downturn as investors continue to worry about the effects Europe’s debt problems can have on the global economic recovery.

The Dow Jones industrial average (INDU) lost as much as 997.21 points in volatile trading. At 3:00 p.m. it was down 410 points, or 3.8%. The Dow’s biggest one-day point selloff on a closing basis was Sept. 29, 2008, when it fell 777.68.

You might be wondering why this is all going on, and fortunately for you because this author spent a decade puking in front of computer screens with red and green arrows arrogantly flashing he can tell you why now.

Somewhere a little while ago a bunch of people decided to take their money and other people’s money that they promised to one day pay back with more than what they were given on the assumption that the place where they would bet all their horses would behave itself and do all the sit ups and calisthenics that it promised them it would do in return for a piece of cheese.

Unfortunately the cheese rotted, and then after lots of zorba dancing in Greece people started demanding that they get their hands on more cheese, but to do that would require more lies and more sit ups- things that people get tired of doing in European sunny capitals with turquoise azure waters. After a lot of complaining and hand wringing other European neighbors took notice and decided it would be a good gesture to help plug in the hole that was now exploding in their backyard.

For a while it worked, until the Europeans realized they didn’t have the stamina to keep eating cheese and doing sit ups and pumping more money down the drain. Of course the money going down the drain in a round about way belongs to (is tied to) America- so sooner or later there is bound to be a huge cheese shortage here too- and for anyone who likes cheese that’s distressing.

Greed is Good. Why Wall st is getting ready for a bath.