Home Eating Out “Return of the Lady.”

“Return of the Lady.”



The Lady:  I host these tea parties nationwide, speak at schools, and speak at private and public seminars.  The tea parties give people a safe, open forum to discuss issues they have been struggling with.  They turn strangers into friends, and friends into siblings. 

Which is exactly what occurred at the tea party I attended.  With tears in her eyes, “The Lady” shares her background of hate-ridden abuse from her peers and other women, due to her skin color and unique sense of style.  She urges us to embrace one another, shed labels and remember that girls unnecessarily suffer at the hands of one another.  One by one, the men and women attending the tea party open up.

“I grew up without a father in my life.  Because his absence, I’ve always looked for that relationship with other men, but have found it hard to connect with them.  Most of my friends are female, I find it easier to connect and get along with them,” said one tea party attendee.

“I never learned to be a lady from my mother.  She was always so cold.  Because of her, I can’t say the words ‘I love you.’  I can’t hug or kiss my own kids and have trouble getting along with other women,” another attendee revealed. 

Complete strangers shared their innermost fears, their deepest secrets, their most shameful moments.  Best friends learned more about each other in one evening than they did in ten years.  By the fourth refill of tea, everyone was daintily dabbing their eyes (yes even this author…) as the catharsis occur.  The evening was proof that from pain and endurance comes beauty and intelligence.   On my way home, I smiled at every stranger I saw. 









  1. Hello Carol from Karris TJ HS class of ’81. Not sure if you remember me. I always thought you were very beautiful, classy, and extremely elegant… so not all of us were filled with hate. Your daughter is stunning and so are you. With that said, as the mother of 20-, 18-, and 6-year old daughters, I too realize and stress to them how important it is to be a lady and lady-like in all situations. Granted, it’s extremely difficult, especially with society’s glamorization of scandalous women. Too often we sell ourselves short, pitting one against the other. We must hold each other up!
    Currently I am in NC, so please bring your message of empowerment to Greensboro, NC, and especially to the campuses of NC HBCU’s, where it is greatly needed. So many of these young women have false bravado and very low self-esteem.
    Take care,

  2. Carol, this is my second tea party extravaganza facilitated by you that I had the pleasure to be a part of. I can not express to you how much I’ve treasured this time of hearing others, including myself, release feelings that we women allow, for the most part, to be hidden. Your model of “Women are like tea bags; you don’t know how strong they are until they are in hot water” exemplifies who we are as women. It was even more special to me to meet your beautiful daughter whom we share common professions; however she has certainly surpassed my goals of traveling the path that she is now travelling. I pray to God that the two of you will always remain who you are individually, socially, and emotionally. Tell L’Oreal I am certainly looking forward to her mentoring my daughter Destinee as I know that Destinee too will follow her path to succeed in life. Love you, Cecilia.

  3. To my sister Carol:
    I’m so proud of you and all you do for women, young and old or should I say seasoned and unseasoned. Continue on your path let no one stop you, as you know I live by the title of my book”You’ve Got The Power” that is the power to do what ever you need to do in this world.
    God Bless You My Sister.

    Love you Your Big Sister.

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