Home Performing Arts Semi Precious Weapons- ‘Bite Down.’

Semi Precious Weapons- ‘Bite Down.’

Black and white photos by Angus Smythe. Justin Tranter of 'Semi Precious Weapons.'

It’s a Saturday night and I’m looking at the screaming kid with the ‘Suzi Quatro/ Adam Ant’ make up and blonde white mohawk. Looking at him and wondering ‘bloody amazing.’ The problem of course is everyone else is wondering the same thing. He bends back in his glitter uniform, pouts, swivels and then gets on with the business of bedazzling the ‘Jesus’ out of you. Of course this is just the first act and the kids next to me are swooning in rapture…

Where we are is the private patio of the Hudson Hotel, and even though technically we’re way uptown, the truth is we are really way down town, somewhere in the 1970’s, post 1980’s and somewhere even beyond that too. The kids hamming it up in front of us now to be sure really don’t care where you think they are because in essence they are glamorous and in essence that’s where the buck stops.


The lead singer JustinTranter plants you a wet kiss from heaven’s stage, looks at you, teases you before he’s at it again with his vigorous enticing melodious wail. Androgyny aside, he reminds you of a young David Bowie, a lip turning, sneering ‘Billy Idol,’and even the femme fatale antics of ‘Bette Davis.’ Clutching his crotch and stretching his gold mesh catsuit (surely something we assume only he could have made like his signature jewelry) he punches his fists out and starts bopping onstage as if he were consuming a jalapeno martini which one guesses he does too…

By now the crowd has gone ballistic, absolved by his lyrics, a mélange of a young man too beautiful to be alive and delighted by the chaos of having to quell a jealous lover or is just a lover who’s giving him the most perfect head. Sashaying up and down the stage he suddenly warns us that the police have been notified about the noise levels and if push comes to shove he doesn’t think he’ll fare too well in jail. Assuming the warden isn’t Jessica Simpson or Axl Rose we’re inclined to agree.

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