Yes, wolves are having their moment. I have, in fact, amassed just enough anecdotal evidence about the waxing hipness of wolves to support a New York Times trend piece on the subject. Granted, that bar is set pretty low. I know we all saw last week’s “Noticed- It’s Hip to be Round” and were strangely comforted to see that some things will never change. The Grey Lady will report the news better than anyone, but will also delight in printing trend stories that are either 3 months behind or made up out of whole cloth. With that standard in mind, let’s use BOMB’s party performance as a jumping-off point for our own submission to the Style section.
Step one– always set a good trend piece in Brooklyn. Those hipsters are so crazy! Earlier this summer (and this is true) a certain hip Williamsburg abode with an impressive porch threw what many (ok, just me) are calling the hairiest party of the year. This party featured not one but TWO wolf-themed musical performances. One had fairly intricate lyrics while the other consisted entirely of tonal howling set to what appeared to be rejected X-Files theme song music. I’ll let you guess which one was better received.
Step two– include a pop culture reference. I’m going with Shakira’s summer hit single, She Wolf. She actually uses the word “lycanthropy”. If you haven’t seen this video, you absolutely must. The choreography is breathtaking.
Step three– internet. You can prove anything with the internet, and fake wolf trends are no exception. Citing Amazon’s Three Wolf Moon Shirt is perfect for this kind of article, because it’s both old news to anyone who has a clue about internet memes, yes is immensely quotable. Writing product reviews for this shirt is the new national pastime, giving us such gems as, “Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather,” and “I’ll spare the details of my conquests since I started wearing this shirt; suffice to say, I’m swimming in a sea of babes the likes of which are usually found on those K-Tel infomercials. I’m also more confident at work, and expect to be promoted to cashier soon.”
Are you convinced? New York Times, I await your call.
