Should you do couple’s therapy if your marriage is falling apart? How to overcome obstacles in your relationship with strategies and tools.
Presented by BetterHelp.
When you first got married, you likely felt as if there was nothing in the world that could tear you and your spouse apart. So, when you suddenly feel like your marriage is falling apart, it can be difficult to come to terms with it. Every couple faces challenges in their relationship, and while some emerge from these hurdles stronger than ever, others find that these obstacles only cause them to drift more and more apart.
Whether you and your spouse have been facing issues for a while or simply want to safeguard your marriage, couple’s therapy can provide coping strategies and other tools to help you move forward as a stronger unit. Here, we’ll explore some of the different types of couple’s therapy and the potential benefits of attending with your spouse.
Reasons For Marital Issues
You and your partner may face challenges in numerous areas of your marriage, including:
- Communication (different communication styles or not talking enough)
- Expectations (unrealistic expectations of marriage can cause a strain)
- Mental health concerns (personality disorders, addiction, depression, etc.)
- Stress (high levels can put a strain on the relationship)
- Differences in parenting styles (you believe in spanking, but your partner doesn’t)
- Sex (frequency, quality, etc.)
- Abuse (physical, mental, emotional, verbal, sexual, or psychological)
- Financial issues (your spouse is frugal, but you overspend)
- Emotional intimacy (one or both of you hold back emotionally)
- Varying levels of commitment (infidelity)
- Substance use (misusing drugs or alcohol)
- Differing morals or values (you’re religious, but your spouse isn’t)
All marriages go through highs and lows, but some of these concerns may prove to be more difficult to work through than others.
Types Of Couple’s Therapy
When you and your spouse decide to go to therapy together, you’ll have several different approaches to choose from. Some of the most popular include the following:
- The Gottman method: The Gottman method was developed by Dr. John and Julie Gottman, a married couple who sought to create a unique approach to relationships through research and evidence-based tactics. This approach can be useful for married couples, as it seeks to increase intimacy, promote affection, and create a more respectful, positive dialogue. Some of the tenets of this method include building love maps, making one another’s dreams come true, turning toward one another instead of away, and creating shared meaning in the relationship.
- Emotionally focused therapy (EFT): Emotionally focused therapy, or EFT, is a type of couple’s therapy that draws from attachment theory and seeks to improve the emotional bond shared between partners. Rather than trying to solve specific issues, it focuses on restoring intimacy in the relationship, which can enable couples to stay vulnerable and open with one another. Once a strong foundation has been reestablished in their relationship, they can then work on the particular problems they’re facing while remaining closely connected.
- Solution-focused brief therapy: Solution-focused brief therapy is a short-term approach that helps couples solve the challenges they’re facing in their relationship. Rather than focusing on the couple’s history or other reasons that brought them to therapy, its main goal is to find a solution to a current pressing concern. Thus, this approach aims to help couples move toward the future by focusing on fixes, not problems.
When searching for a marriage counselor, it’s important to consider which approach you and your spouse are interested in. If you can narrow down which type of therapy seems to be most appropriate for your situation, it may make your search easier, as you can see which providers specialize in which methods.
Potential Benefits Of Couple’s Therapy
Here are some of the positive outcomes you and your spouse may experience when attending couple’s therapy:
- Increased intimacy
- Stronger conflict resolution skills
- Higher levels of empathy
- Enhanced communication
- Better coping strategies
- Improved honesty and trust
- Higher relationship satisfaction
Although the specific benefits of couple’s therapy may vary, it can ultimately help you and your spouse enjoy a stronger, more fulfilling marriage.
Growing Together
Marriage isn’t always easy, but it’s often worth working through problems and fighting for. Of course, issues like abuse are never okay in any relationship, and it’s important to reach out for help if you’re experiencing this in your marriage. However, many other challenges related to intimacy, communication, money, and more can frequently be managed and overcome with the right support.
If you and your spouse are facing concerns that feel too big to handle alone, it could be useful to connect with a couple’s therapist. They can help you and your partner work through challenges in a structured, safe environment. Though your situation may feel difficult now, with time and effort from both parties, it is possible to find solutions and foster a stronger, closer marriage built to last.
