Home Scandal and Gossip Jordan Lupu investment banker $210 Whole Foods grocery heist: I thought I...

Jordan Lupu investment banker $210 Whole Foods grocery heist: I thought I could get away with it

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Jordan Lupu
Pictured Jordan Lupu NY Investment banker for BMO Capital Markets who was allegedly caught shoplifting at Wholefoods. Image via instagram
Jordan Lupu
Pictured Jordan Lupu NY Investment banker for BMO Capital Markets who was allegedly caught shoplifting at Wholefoods. Image via instagram

How Jordan Lupu a NYC investment banker was allegedly caught trying to steal $210 worth of Whole Foods grocery in his child’s stroller. 

Also making the tabloid front pages is 42 year old NYC investment banker Jordan Lupu, who was arrested earlier this year trying to steal $210 worth of groceries from Whole Foods, which he’d shoved into a children’s stroller.

The attempted heist occurred despite our collective hero living in a $3 million NYC home along with owning a second $1.4 house in Westchester.

When not slumming it in grocery stores, Lupu works as the co-head of global prime brokerage at BMO Capital Markets.

At the time, the master of the universe banker (too big to fail but to happy to keep all the profits for oneself…) was tripped up by a security guard in February as he nonchalantly walked out with the good shit in a children’s stroller at a Tribeca Whole Foods store.

Of note, the shoplifting episode occurred less than two blocks from the pricey digs Lupu shares with his ivy league wife and two kids.

A report via the nypost cited court records revealing our collective hero had tried to ‘remove three Whole Body products and 28 grocery items from displays and conceal the items underneath [his] baby stroller.’

Probably better than trying to sell worthless derivates portfolio to main-street while selling naked shorts against the waiting time bomb. Unless of course ….?

Continued the report, ‘Security then stopped the him and recovered the items, property which belonged to the store and for which the defendant had no receipt, from underneath his baby stroller’.

Lupu caught a lucky break when cops arrived, simply issuing him a desk-appearance ticket. He was arraigned in April on one count each of petit larceny and possession of stolen property. 

Which is to wonder what if Lupu wasn’t the golden boy of around the corner and instead the ‘degenerate’ that political folk like to warn us about? Do you think he would lived to tell workmates the following morning how a baloney and cheddar cheese sandwich tastes like in the can?

Jordan Lupu
Pictured Jordan Lupu NY Investment banker for BMO Capital Markets who was allegedly caught shoplifting at Wholefoods.

Come Monday, Lupu accepted a deal in Manhattan Criminal Court in which the banker didn’t have to admit guilt in the alleged thefts.

As long as our collective hero stays out of trouble until next January, the charges will be dropped and the case will be sealed reported the post.

Responding to the fiasco, Lupu’s lawyer has since told the entire episode resulted from a misunderstanding.

‘Jordan was pushing a double stroller with his young children and wanted to check the price of an item located behind the cashier, and the only way to reach the item without leaving his children unaccompanied was to walk around the cashier down the ramp toward the item he was looking at but happened to be near the exit,’ the lawyer said.

‘He checked the price and was turning the stroller to go back toward the cashier. He never left the store or had any intention of leaving the store without purchasing the items.’  

Then again, who can’t resist shoplifting from one of America’s favorite over-priced grocery stores?

Personally Jordan when I’m in the mood to shoplift, I nonchalantly nibble away at the desert section and when caught, keep smiling and explain I’m a starving writer, a/celebrity, b/ reality star, c/ incorrigible or d/ self entitled master of the universe …

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  • ImOpining

    I would check his clients investments. If he loves the thrill of stealing this wasn’t the first or last time.