Saving Time Internet Dating: How you cast your net might get you the type of results you’re looking for when it comes to the heart.
If you haven’t tried it yet, the idea of internet dating might sound incredibly alluring and sexy. And while there’s plenty of that to be had, online dating can also suck away your soul and time. Honestly, lots of people who use the internet to find dates aren’t what you’d call the cream of the crop – at least not as far as you’re concerned. This makes things difficult for people as attractive and likable as yourself. Why are you getting contacted by so many creeps and weirdos?
Some of your problem probably has to do with how you’re dating. When we date, lots of people advise casting a wide net. According to this school of thought, it’s a numbers game.
For people who just want to get a date, there is something to this strategy. If you hit on enough people, someone will eventually give you the time of day. But for people looking for deeply sexy encounters, fulfilling relationships, or even long term partners, the “sniper approach” may work out better than the “shotgun approach” (that’s a metaphor about being specific rather than general; please don’t bring guns on dates).
If you’re a grown up person, you likely know a few things about yourself. When it comes to dating and sex, you’ve had a number of experiences. Upon reflection, you can find patterns – the kind of things you liked about people you’ve dated, and the kinds of things you didn’t like.
If you are able to extrapolate a series of traits from these experiences which represent your favorite type or types, you’ve actually learned some very important stuff about yourself. In fact, one of the best ways to get something awesome out of your dating life is to not date just anybody.
If you’re on one or more dating sites/dating mobile apps, you’ve seen hundreds of people who are playing the field in your community. If you’re lucky enough to get some attention in these spheres, this is the perfect time to start interacting with people you find truly attractive. But if you have had a series of lame dates, maybe it’s time to narrow your approach. Big popular dating resources like Tinder are made to appeal to everybody, i.e. the middle of the road. Maybe it’s time to leave the middle of the road.
There are plenty of awesome resources like black chat rooms, community sites for kinksters, dating resources for every worldview and ideological persuasion, and anything else you can think of.
Think carefully about the best romantic experiences of your life, and try to determine what about those people made them so exciting to you. If you can determine the “Active Ingredients” within your best romantic experiences, you can look for these traits in the people you date.
Starting online, where every sexual preference is laid out like a buffet table, you can start to cultivate a better dating life by heading right for the stuff you enjoy. This doesn’t make you closed-minded. It makes you aware of yourself. And that’s a great thing.