Home Scandal and Gossip Dead Dolphin Dilemma.

Dead Dolphin Dilemma.


As dolphins continue to expire and wash ashore along the Gulf coast, animal enthusiasts and generally decent people abound are left in utter disbelief. The distinction is made between the two groups because, well, sometimes the PETA types can be a little, shall I say,irrational.

It turns out the whole “let’s sweep this BP oil fiasco under the rug; everyone come back to the Gulf” spin was ill-timed. Those of us living in America’s southern region should remain on high-alert when dealing with anything related to that toxic wasteland.

I guess it also turns out dolphins are no longer safe in their natural habitat, and we know the artificial environment we created for our flipper-flapping friends can cause suicide attempts.

So if they’re not safe in the ocean, and they’re not safe in the fishbowls, then where are they safe?

Nowhere. The modern-day dolphin has no safe-haven, which is why I predict them to evolve into land animals over the course of the next 1,000 years. Sure, they’ll pose a threat to humans, but we’ll adjust. On the bright side, the price of fish will decrease due to an increase in supply caused by the change of venue of this shrewd marine land mammal.

Maybe they’ll even join forces with PETA’s bravest and wage war on BP headquarters.

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