Home Scandal and Gossip Jack Duke would like to tell you how he encourages his 6...

Jack Duke would like to tell you how he encourages his 6 and 7 year old daughters to smoke the good shit.


Monkey see, monkey do.

Have you ever wondered to yourself how it is that certain people behave in certain inexplicable ways only to have all the answers staring at you when you finally get to meet the parents? Well one parent that you want to have a good long look at is is Jack Duke. Why? Because at the tender age of 6 and 7 he has both his daughters hooked on the good shit.

The Weekly Vice: Jack Duke, a 27-year-old Grand Junction man was jailed after he allegedly allowed and even encouraged his six and seven-year-old daughters to smoke marijuana.

According to the Mesa County Sheriff’s Office, officers were contacted on September 24th after the 6-year-old was caught in the school bathroom with a bic lighter and some toilet paper, attempting to start a fire.

Attempting to start a fire because it was time to start smoking the good shit, and as daddy correctly taught his daughters, you don’t get to smoke the good shit unless you have a fire, so it was only natural that one of his daughters would end up in the school bathroom valiantly trying to get that flame going.

The child told authorities that when she doesn’t feel good, her father would smoke “weed” with her, and blow it in her face.

She then when into great detail about her smoking techniques, and how she doesn’t like to smoke the seeds. The girl also drew pictures of her father holding a pipe and bong. Authorities say the girl knew more about smoking marijuana then most adults.

Which is to say the judge should show some sort of leniency when it comes time to throwing the book at dad, because he at least had the temerity to show both daughters the finer etiquette of smoking the good shit, redeemable qualities in any dad no doubt.

When the police department decided to rock by and see for themselves they found both dad and mother admitting to smoking the good shit in front of the kids and how he was now getting the kids to light their own blunts and exhaling the good shit on their faces.

What the police also found included the following:

Police recovered a small marijuana pipe, two larger pipes commonly referred to as “bongs,” a digital scale, and a small bag of marijuana, all accessible to the children. Officers also noted that the home was in extreme disarray, with dirty diapers piled up next to the toilet, soiled clothes strewn about, and an approximately 5-foot long boa constrictor in a cage next to a bed in the childrens’ room.

Jack is easily facing 36 years in jail which isn’t being helped by prior arrests and a pending charge for failing to register as a sex offender amongst other things we imagine in 2009. The moral of the story- be careful of the parents you choose kids and if your parents turn around one day and offer you the good shit just tell them ‘no more monkey see, monkey do dad!’