At some point tonight Rush Limbaugh will look down at his sweetheart Kathryn Rogers and pronounce her his newly wedded bitch and from the pews little children sucking on Cheerios and gummy bears will spit onto the back of their hands – amen. From there Rush will rent a tow truck to drag all of Kathryn’s family to a deserted hotel called the Breakers where honey suckling ham and spritzers will be waiting for them. Who else will be there waiting for them includes Elton John, because even he understands it’s business as usual when Rush sticks his tongue inside’s Kathryn’s mouth while sticking a $million dollar crumpled note into the gap between Elton’s teeth. For a moment everyone will giggle, take a huge swig of that moonshine Rush made the night before before gently drifting into tears for the camera crews waiting to make out with Rush’s newly extended family.
Eventually Rush will fall into his new ‘squeeze’s’ arms and dream that he is floating somewhere on a yellow brick road, and for a moment somewhere in satellite green chipmunks will giggle as Elton reaches for a carving knife to dislodge Rush’s check.