It’s come to my attention that some of you fine New Yorkers can’t be bothered to find anything fun or original to do with yourselves this fine, hot summer. That’s fine. To these poor folk I have only one thing to say:
What the hell is wrong with you?
You live in the most diverse, exciting, interesting city in the country. You can spend YEARS sniffing through its byways and still not see everything there is to see. And you’re bored? Really?
It’s been said by a lot of people, but Jennifer Jones’ character on Mad Men sticks out in my mind. Her kids come to her for diversions while she’s lying in bed, gestating their future sibling, and she offers, “Bang your head into the wall.” They look at her incredulously, and she shrugs. “Boring people are bored.”
Oops. Did the mean website article just say something you didn’t want to hear? No-one’s forcing you to read this. Still here? Brilliant.
We’ve got museums! Film festivals! Theatre festivals! A Zoo! Coney Island! The New York Library! And you’re still looking for ideas? Fine. Take a free yoga class. Try out a new restaurant. Learn when and where you can find free food at NY bars, if money’s tight.
Hit up Central Park and toss around a damn frisbee. Grab some friends, head down to Union Square, and hug a crapload of complete strangers. (Hit the farmer’s market while you’re there.)
Don’t know how to get there? Look it up.
Or how about that swim you’ve been promising yourself. New Yorkers, we are surrounded by thousands of miles of coastline. Here’s a few train time tables we have chosen for you.
Okay: I was thinking really long and hard about whether or not to even include links to the suggestions I’m giving you. For free. It took zero effort to track these down. As in ZERO.
If you are still hard up for ideas on how to pass the time in New York? I mean, if none of these suggestions sound the slightest bit interesting to you? Keep it to yourself, because that’s pathetic.
See you around, folks. Hopefully you’ll be out, y’know, actually doing something.