Home Scandal and Gossip Scallywag’s pick of the worst dressed and inconvenient at the 82nd Oscars.

Scallywag’s pick of the worst dressed and inconvenient at the 82nd Oscars.

Jennifer Lopez embarrassing herself and civilization.

The things we aspire to on Sunday afternoons…

Once again it is that time of the year that grown women commonly known as actresses and their male counterparts known as actors race to the pony stadium to get your attention. Why? Money,fame and all the supposed adulation. That said, unless you happen to move us to higher emotional sensibilities we’re frankly not interested. That said we decided to handpick some of our favorite messes parading like stunned mullets in search of a paparrazo flash bulb. Let the hapless participants (victims) take the stand.

First abominition clearly belongs to J- Lo. (see above) One look at her expression and that thing struggling for survival around her caboose should be enough;

Krisitn Stewart is hiding her panic attack.

Our second choice goes to Kristin Stewart. Something is tragically wrong with this operation, but that said we are charmed by her defiant stance. We’re sure the realization of her stupidity will hit her later at the bar.

We plead the fifth...

Third choice- Gabourey Sibidie. For fear of violent recrimination, we will keep silent here, but we do believe some pictures alas are worth a million words (tears)…

Keanu Reeves needs to never grow butcher side burns ever again or young boys in America will suddenly make young girls cry.

Fourth runner up- Keanu Reeves. The facial hair has to go for once and for all…This is sending a very bad message to all young males experiencing puberty for the first time.

Robert Downey Jr. imitating a Cirque du Soleil clown.

Fifth runner up- Robert Downey Jr. The blue bow tie and the space boots are somehow out of place but we neverteless can appreciate that Robert has had a troubled past. Enough said.

Sixth and final runner up- Sigourney Weaver. Sigourney is an old hat at this stuff and her choice of Roman toga either sends a message that like us she finds this all rather morbid or what we secretly believe is her desire to return as an alien that looks like a rotten tomato. We are inclined to believe the latter…