How will Jessica manage to survive but more importantly how will America?
Woe to woe ashes to ashes and lost doggies to doggies but how will a nation survive now that Jessica’s dog has forever gone missing? A celebrity dog is after all just that- a celebrity, and in America we value our celebrities.
Jessica you do us wrong to call off the search, please keep looking, it’s only a matter of days now, we’re sure Daisy is just hiding somewhere in your forty three acre back yard or simply under your bed.
Please Jessica – won’t you reconsider? We can’t stand to let go of another celebrity…
Jessica here is our custom made ad to help you recover Daisy, just give us the go ahead and we will run it nationally on your behalf. Let’s unite and find Daisy for once and for all.
Celebrity Media Whore will offer blow job and signed autograph in return for my missing pooch- Ditzy.
Hi my name is Ashlly Simpthon. Excuthe me spelling mistakes but I am brokens up now that my pooch –Daithy- has gone missing. I am very stupid, I mean sad that Ditzy has gone but maybe if you kind of see her I’d like her back ‘cause she makes me smile, laugh and keep the appaparazzi off my ass (which I have been told is very cute…giggle).
I have tried everything, Larry King, facebook, twitter , and even looking in my forty three acre back yard and under my bed butt nada (that’s Mexikan for nothing).
Please if you know where DITZY is please let me know. I miss her every much and I can’t wait to kiss her again.
If you find her – please only feed her fillet mignon and bottled water. Also she might bite you but pleez don’t take that personally since she’s just my dog and not yours.
Anyway if you fond her pleez call my publicist and I will drop off and reward you. Yummy reward coming up!
Bye for neow and please look out for my new single it;’s called – “Ditzy.”